The adventure so far

Well, it’s nearly a month since we found out about Nikki’s pregnancy, and I think our heads are more or less understanding what’s going on. Getting to grips with the fact that in October we’re going to be a family, and I am going to be a daddy, is like trying to grasp hold of an oily pipe – every time I think I have it in my grasp, it slips away with a clang…!

It’s mind-blowing. And it’s likely to become even more mind-blowing.

My prayers are becoming more of a daily pondering session. So far my reactions have been a little varied. There has been more smiling than anything else, I’m pleased to announce, but there have been plenty of everything else for my own tastes. But I am exhausted. Every emotion possible has flowed through me over the last three/four weeks, and I’m very happy – especially now that people know what’s happening, I think – but I am having to go home and sleep early, rather than spending most of my time with Nik (and the bump). That sounds a bit like a children’s book title – “Nik and the Bump”…

It’s a shame, but I’m reliably being told to get as much sleep as I can now, because it’ll be very difficult when the baby’s born. I can well believe that, too. Although at least there’ll be a reason for not sleeping, and the reason is more than worthwhile.

I have to admit, there’s an amazing sense of God about all of this. It’s amazing on so many different levels. It’s an honour to have the chance to bring someone else into the world. It’s amazing that the child growing at the moment even got this far, seeing as there were more obstacles in their way than the Royal Marines would put up with on an assault course.
There are too many things about their not-so-distant arrival which brings my heart into my mouth and makes me want to grin from ear to ear and dance round shouting for joy!
And in all this, I’m aware that I feel more touched by God than ever before.

OK, so Nik and I were hoping to get married before we thought about children – and I’m not sure how much of a thought we would have had, seeing as she had been told that children were not possible a couple of years back. So this has shocked us, and caught us rather off guard, but to be honest, we wanted to make a commitment to each other before the shock, and this really only prompted us to get up and tell people about that!

Reactions of people I’ve told have been a bit surprising too. If I am honest, the reaction of others was the one thing that nagged at me – I wasn’t sure how some would take the news, I think. But the response has been really positive and really supportive, on the whole. A couple of people have been rather shocked and haven’t said a lot, but most have been shocked to start with (they’re two huge pieces of news, and telling them together is a bit of a double-whammy!) and then got quite excited about it all. Which is great.

The babysitting offers have already started, and I have a feeling there are a lot of friends thinking of buying lots of baby things for us – which is nice, but a bit odd to me. I have never come across a situation where there are so many people being obsessed with something someone else is going to get that they start trying to help out. Not that I would complain about this – money is tight enough for us to be eternally grateful for everything we are given, or are helped with. I just hope it doesn’t all get out of hand to the point that we can’t have the joy of buying stuff for the baby because someone else has got it all! That’s very selfish, but I think it’s something we’re looking forward to!

There are two other things that bug me about pregnancy. The first is trains and especially in London rush-hours. No-one gives up their seat for a pregnant woman these days. I have heard that it was quite common, but since I have been working up here, I have not seen it happen once. There are still a few nice people around who’ll move up to give more room or swap seats so we can sit together, but otherwise they all seem to just retreat into their Metros or their Evening Standards and ignore anyone getting on. That’s quite a sad state to find the world in. And I find it amazing that people in suits seem to quite resent spending a relatively short time standing to help someone else who needs the seat more than them. What am I saying – first rule of business – if you have a suit, you rule. No-one else exists.
The second, which I admit hasn’t happened to Nikki (yet), is the obsession non-pregnant women seem to have with the bump. I mean, if somebody is willing to just wander up to a pregnant woman on the tube, start stroking her stomach and asking questions about when its due, I think you should be allowed to cut their arms off.
Maybe it’s just me, and I am pretty protective of my personal space in places like that, but it seems like an outrageous invasion of privacy. And it guarantees that everyone else on the train will look at the bump-stroker in confused horror...
Why do people feel the need to do it? It’s probably some kind of sexual assault if a man does it, so why can't we insist that these people train for years in midwifery or something?

Maybe people just want to share the joy... But its just such an odd way of doing that!