Well, it's now got 8 days into December and it has finally really dawned on me that this is advent... Apart from the wonderful home-made advent calendar that Nikki made for me last year and filled with interesting treats for me again this year, nothing has felt particularly festive so far. And then I started to think about Christmas food... I have actually offered to do Christmas lunch this year... Possibly a stupid thing to do - and as Christmas Eve is a Saturday this year, I'll probably be spending it getting food ready for the next day! But as I began to think about it, I started feeling a bit more festively-inclined...
And then there's Luke, who's really going to make our Christmas fantastic this year (and hopefully for many more years to come) - but its kind of re-set my mind to what advent is about. I haven't (for many and various reasons - mostly connected to lack of sleep and family illnesses) been able to get myself down to church since Luke was born 8 weeks ago. I have really missed being there, and have kept myself going using some of the various sites on the net dedicated to alternative worship and the like (if you want to know more, check out Jonny Baker's blog - not only is that a good place to start, there are more links than you can jingle bells at).
But Luke is a living example of what I love about Christmas. The stories, the biblical reasons we celebrate - and more than I think most people would admit in public... the sheer childlike joy I get when I give presents and see people enjoying themselves. The story of what happened on the first Christmas is so strong, so good, that it would not make a blind bit of difference if it were to turn out to be fiction - its still a great story, and sums up what the season has always meant to me - love, generosity, kindness. OK, so the way it gets told is often completely outdated and dull, but it still gets through, and I don't know a single person who doesn't know the tale - thats how good it is.
Luke also makes me remember that this is what Jesus was like in the stable - probably not quite as warm, but certainly loved and appreciated as best us humans can manage.
Christmas is for kids. And bigger kids, and even bigger adults. Christmas is about one kid. And that kid became an even bigger adult, and died for us. Christmas is the end of a year (almost), but the start of a fresh journey.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
Are we all supposed to be this sensitive?
Is it just me, or is the fact that (fellow) Christians are already protesting about THIS really annoying?
Is there nothing “we” can be tolerant about?
A bit of background is probably necessary here – Paul is a new play by Howard Brenton which is being staged at the National Theatre at the moment.
Howard Brenton is well-known chiefly because of his play “The Romans In Britain”, which was infamous for Mary Whitehouse launching a private prosecution against the play’s director for staging a production which simulated gross indecencies. Whatever the true meaning of the scenes that outraged Mary Whitehouse and her supporters, that is forevermore going to be remembered.
Try here for some extra background.
But, Paul seems a rather different kettle of fish. This is the story of St Paul, but is told from a secular point of view. I admit now that I haven’t seen it – and anything I refer to is from the reviews I have read. But a secular retelling of a Biblical life is a good thing, as far as I am concerned – it has been done with the life of Jesus countless times – maybe not quite on the same scale, but it has. And ok, Howard Brenton is perhaps no stranger to controversy – but there is nothing particularly controversial about the play except the one element of questioning whether the resurrection actually took place, and I admit that this probably quite rightly causes a little bit of caution in Christians. But it's an interesting theory - forces us to actually THINK about the nature of faith, and question, which can only be healthy, surely?
According to Nicholas Hytner, there were 200 complaints on his desk before the play had even previewed, and all the complaints were on the assumption “that the play is about Paul being homosexual and misogynist; they assume it's going to be a prurient hatchet job.”
I can see how the idea would provoke some worry amongst a certain type of Christian, but why must they always assume that everything that approaches faith from an unusual angle is out to offend and provoke? I may be hilariously isolated on this, but really, guys, learn to relax a little.
Now, to me, this sounds quite good. I’m interested, and I probably wouldn’t be if no one had protested about it – mainly because I would never have noticed it! It might just be me, too, but I love the quotes that bookend this:
Paul
A new play by Howard Brenton
Forgive me brother, let’s keep our relationship strictly commercial. I hear people get killed in Judea because of religious arguments. All I want is a tent, not a new god.
A divine revelation on the road to Damascus moves Saul to renounce his former life. He changes his name, converts from Judaism, and devotes himself to preaching the Gospel.
Taking the remarkable life and moral teachings of this profound religious thinker, Howard Brenton explores the extraordinary phenomenon of faith. While offering a secular reading of the story of Christ’s resurrection, at the play’s heart Paul preaches from his Letter to the Corinthians, the eloquence of which cannot fail to move.
An irreverent, provocative new play by the author of The Romans in Britain.
Though I command languages both human and angelic – if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains – if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.
Doesn't sound as offensive as we're led to believe it is. And presumably people got a bit excited because it looked like this could be a Jerry Springer Mark II. I'm glad they have been disappointed by the fact its not. But then, I couldn't stand the debate on Jerry Springer either - to me, it was a very intelligent and funny show. Yes, I didn't like bits of it, but there's this thing called suspension of disbelief. It's quite handy when you're watching/reading/listening to FICTION. How can people see us in a serious light if the loud minority (and I think it is a minority - and if its not, it should be) take the first opportunity to shout their complaints without thinking whether anyone would seriously be swallowing what they're seeing and believing every word. You don't go to the theatre to learn hard facts, you go to enjoy yourself. Perspective needs to be remembered. After all, how are we supposed to show people the good reasons to follow God when all they see if what "we" don't like, not what we do?
Anyone agree/disagree?
Is there nothing “we” can be tolerant about?
A bit of background is probably necessary here – Paul is a new play by Howard Brenton which is being staged at the National Theatre at the moment.
Howard Brenton is well-known chiefly because of his play “The Romans In Britain”, which was infamous for Mary Whitehouse launching a private prosecution against the play’s director for staging a production which simulated gross indecencies. Whatever the true meaning of the scenes that outraged Mary Whitehouse and her supporters, that is forevermore going to be remembered.
Try here for some extra background.
But, Paul seems a rather different kettle of fish. This is the story of St Paul, but is told from a secular point of view. I admit now that I haven’t seen it – and anything I refer to is from the reviews I have read. But a secular retelling of a Biblical life is a good thing, as far as I am concerned – it has been done with the life of Jesus countless times – maybe not quite on the same scale, but it has. And ok, Howard Brenton is perhaps no stranger to controversy – but there is nothing particularly controversial about the play except the one element of questioning whether the resurrection actually took place, and I admit that this probably quite rightly causes a little bit of caution in Christians. But it's an interesting theory - forces us to actually THINK about the nature of faith, and question, which can only be healthy, surely?
According to Nicholas Hytner, there were 200 complaints on his desk before the play had even previewed, and all the complaints were on the assumption “that the play is about Paul being homosexual and misogynist; they assume it's going to be a prurient hatchet job.”
I can see how the idea would provoke some worry amongst a certain type of Christian, but why must they always assume that everything that approaches faith from an unusual angle is out to offend and provoke? I may be hilariously isolated on this, but really, guys, learn to relax a little.
Now, to me, this sounds quite good. I’m interested, and I probably wouldn’t be if no one had protested about it – mainly because I would never have noticed it! It might just be me, too, but I love the quotes that bookend this:
Paul
A new play by Howard Brenton
Forgive me brother, let’s keep our relationship strictly commercial. I hear people get killed in Judea because of religious arguments. All I want is a tent, not a new god.
A divine revelation on the road to Damascus moves Saul to renounce his former life. He changes his name, converts from Judaism, and devotes himself to preaching the Gospel.
Taking the remarkable life and moral teachings of this profound religious thinker, Howard Brenton explores the extraordinary phenomenon of faith. While offering a secular reading of the story of Christ’s resurrection, at the play’s heart Paul preaches from his Letter to the Corinthians, the eloquence of which cannot fail to move.
An irreverent, provocative new play by the author of The Romans in Britain.
Though I command languages both human and angelic – if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains – if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.
Doesn't sound as offensive as we're led to believe it is. And presumably people got a bit excited because it looked like this could be a Jerry Springer Mark II. I'm glad they have been disappointed by the fact its not. But then, I couldn't stand the debate on Jerry Springer either - to me, it was a very intelligent and funny show. Yes, I didn't like bits of it, but there's this thing called suspension of disbelief. It's quite handy when you're watching/reading/listening to FICTION. How can people see us in a serious light if the loud minority (and I think it is a minority - and if its not, it should be) take the first opportunity to shout their complaints without thinking whether anyone would seriously be swallowing what they're seeing and believing every word. You don't go to the theatre to learn hard facts, you go to enjoy yourself. Perspective needs to be remembered. After all, how are we supposed to show people the good reasons to follow God when all they see if what "we" don't like, not what we do?
I actually think that this is an important play. There have been so many instances in the last few years where mainstream theatre hasn't been brave enough to put on a play which questions belief - and this production in particular is an important milestone as far as I am concerned. This is a serious play, which is, according to the Metro, "...a rare thing: a thrilling drama that grapples with big ideas."
What's wrong with that? I can't think of a more worthwhile kind of play to see, to be honest. It's a hard balance, I understand that. But its a risk worth taking, and people really should be less sensitive towards interesting ideas - it is not mocking the Christian faith, it asks questions about the nature of faith. And that, after all, is a very worthwhile exercise in a society and culture looking for something to believe in. And besides, the play itself doesn't renounce the gospel, it does not criticise the Christian faith, but in many ways affirms it and backs the moral covenants and values preached.
I want to go and see this play, and I certainly wouldn't have too many doubts with performing it given half the chance - theatre is fantastic for sparking proper involved debate on subjects, and this would release a debate and a half. It might not even be out of place if used in an alpha course, as they both share the common theme of exploration of faith.
I'm angry because they claim to represent Christians. I'm sorry, but I respect myself and my faith too much to be considered represented by you. We can't outlaw people discussing the nature of faith and our own backgrounds - in fact, that's something we don't do enough ourselves.Anyone agree/disagree?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
He has a name!
Just a quick note to say that the little man now has a name. Last night we decided to call him Luke Matthew Fosten. Please keep us in your prayers all you people who pray, and those that don't - just remember us from time to time - especially little Luke... I'm sure he'll know you are thinking about him even if we don't!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Happy Three Weeks To Him...
So, the little man is three weeks old, and still hasn't got a name. And, no, despite the temptation, I am not about to offer the names we're choosing from so you can all vote on it... No matter how much you ask.
Life isn't too bad - he's already got the hang of the sleeping-when-it-gets-dark thing (for the moment, anyhow - I don't want to jinx anything!) and Nik's enjoying being with him all the time instead of going to work - who wouldn't - even if he does stop her getting simple things done (like getting a drink) because he doesn't like not being held when he's awake!
And me? I had a great weekend in Whitstable for GOGI last weekend - I really enjoyed being there, and doing what we all did over the three days, and I'm already looking forward to planning the next one - leading worship there was a pleasure (it's always lovely to have a seperate dedicated chapel to use rather than the usual setting up wherever we can - which I have absolutely no problem with, but its brilliant to have a quiet space like that where people are encouraged to be still and relax before anything is even said, and the chapel at St Vincent's, while certainly not being huge, does that as well as anywhere else I have been).
Using media in worship always presents problems, and I have, over the last two or three years while I developed the ideas of using media clips of all sorts and sources, mastered the art of reading something while setting up the next clip for those occasions when plans go a little awry and I am relying solely on my laptop... I did have to use the skill a few times, but generally the technology behaved, and people seemed to get something out of what I was doing. I was sad to leave, in a way. I always enjoy GOGI, and as my ideas go, I enjoy this one more than some of the others... But I also feel quite at home doing the events connected with it - even more so this time now I have been out of FURY for a large part of the year... It felt like a bit of a homecoming.
Having said that, I was very glad to get home and see my little family again - its very hard not to miss the little one (and Nik, of course!). Sunday evening was nice and quiet as we all settled back down to being together again - and mercifully, the little one decided he finally needed to sleep after being awake all day...
Yesterday was my first day in my new job - so it was quite scary (with tonnes of information being heaped my way and little brain capacity to keep it all in!), but it worked out ok, I think. Today is day two, and has been a little more active, with actual work being pushed my way, so I'm happy (despite the nightmare journey into work - three trains cancelled at Orpington, the one I finally got was delayed by 30mins, and then it abruptly terminated at London Bridge, so I had to change... missed the next one as it was full, and finally wandered into work about 15 mins late... And I was hoping to be early and everything! Oh well.)
Life isn't too bad - he's already got the hang of the sleeping-when-it-gets-dark thing (for the moment, anyhow - I don't want to jinx anything!) and Nik's enjoying being with him all the time instead of going to work - who wouldn't - even if he does stop her getting simple things done (like getting a drink) because he doesn't like not being held when he's awake!
And me? I had a great weekend in Whitstable for GOGI last weekend - I really enjoyed being there, and doing what we all did over the three days, and I'm already looking forward to planning the next one - leading worship there was a pleasure (it's always lovely to have a seperate dedicated chapel to use rather than the usual setting up wherever we can - which I have absolutely no problem with, but its brilliant to have a quiet space like that where people are encouraged to be still and relax before anything is even said, and the chapel at St Vincent's, while certainly not being huge, does that as well as anywhere else I have been).
Using media in worship always presents problems, and I have, over the last two or three years while I developed the ideas of using media clips of all sorts and sources, mastered the art of reading something while setting up the next clip for those occasions when plans go a little awry and I am relying solely on my laptop... I did have to use the skill a few times, but generally the technology behaved, and people seemed to get something out of what I was doing. I was sad to leave, in a way. I always enjoy GOGI, and as my ideas go, I enjoy this one more than some of the others... But I also feel quite at home doing the events connected with it - even more so this time now I have been out of FURY for a large part of the year... It felt like a bit of a homecoming.
Having said that, I was very glad to get home and see my little family again - its very hard not to miss the little one (and Nik, of course!). Sunday evening was nice and quiet as we all settled back down to being together again - and mercifully, the little one decided he finally needed to sleep after being awake all day...
Yesterday was my first day in my new job - so it was quite scary (with tonnes of information being heaped my way and little brain capacity to keep it all in!), but it worked out ok, I think. Today is day two, and has been a little more active, with actual work being pushed my way, so I'm happy (despite the nightmare journey into work - three trains cancelled at Orpington, the one I finally got was delayed by 30mins, and then it abruptly terminated at London Bridge, so I had to change... missed the next one as it was full, and finally wandered into work about 15 mins late... And I was hoping to be early and everything! Oh well.)
Sunday, October 23, 2005
One October Night...
Well, 8 days on, and life has definitely changed (shockingly)!
Last Saturday was an awesome and scary experience. We woke fairly early, but had breakfast in bed - seeing as Nikki was ill at her desk the day before, we decided that the day should probably be approached slowly... I emerged from the shower clean and shaved to find a shocked Nikki standing next to the bed saying that she thought that her waters had broken. This was at about 12.15pm. We had to go and get her checked in hospital, as she wasn't having any contractions at the time, and we got there at about 3pm. She was examined and told that it was definitely her waters that had broken but she hadn't begun to dilate yet. While we were in the lift up to the hospital, she had the first contraction, and by about 5 I was phoning the labour ward to ask for a midwife to come round to help as Nikki was in so much pain (it was one of the more unusual phone calls - me trying to talk to the labour ward with Nikki screaming at the top of her lungs next to me).
When the midwife arrived at about 6, she warned us not to expect any miracles, and that there might still be a long way to go and examined Nikki. She was shocked to find out that Nikki was 4.5cm dilated, and things were looking like they were moving along quite fast. In the end, it moved faster than any of us realised - and with the second midwife arriving and hastily setting up equipment, but it almost wasn't fast enough! At 9.04pm, less than 5 hours after the first contraction, the very beautiful and as-yet-unnamed baby boy arrived into the world.
It was a surprisingly fast and (relatively) easy labour for Nikki, and she even got the home birth she wanted - the little man arrived with Nikki leaning on the side of the bath...
So here all the adventures begin. He's already a master Poo-maker, and has even now already conquered the tricky arts of feeding and sleeping - and has already managed to pee all over his clothes on several occasions while being changed. He has also already developed a rather good smug grin when you've just fixed the new nappy in place and he decides to go again... and he can burp to a top professional standard (daddy is, of course, very proud)...
And you know what? We've never been quite so tired (Nikki especially), but we've never been so happy either.
Last Saturday was an awesome and scary experience. We woke fairly early, but had breakfast in bed - seeing as Nikki was ill at her desk the day before, we decided that the day should probably be approached slowly... I emerged from the shower clean and shaved to find a shocked Nikki standing next to the bed saying that she thought that her waters had broken. This was at about 12.15pm. We had to go and get her checked in hospital, as she wasn't having any contractions at the time, and we got there at about 3pm. She was examined and told that it was definitely her waters that had broken but she hadn't begun to dilate yet. While we were in the lift up to the hospital, she had the first contraction, and by about 5 I was phoning the labour ward to ask for a midwife to come round to help as Nikki was in so much pain (it was one of the more unusual phone calls - me trying to talk to the labour ward with Nikki screaming at the top of her lungs next to me).
When the midwife arrived at about 6, she warned us not to expect any miracles, and that there might still be a long way to go and examined Nikki. She was shocked to find out that Nikki was 4.5cm dilated, and things were looking like they were moving along quite fast. In the end, it moved faster than any of us realised - and with the second midwife arriving and hastily setting up equipment, but it almost wasn't fast enough! At 9.04pm, less than 5 hours after the first contraction, the very beautiful and as-yet-unnamed baby boy arrived into the world.
It was a surprisingly fast and (relatively) easy labour for Nikki, and she even got the home birth she wanted - the little man arrived with Nikki leaning on the side of the bath...
So here all the adventures begin. He's already a master Poo-maker, and has even now already conquered the tricky arts of feeding and sleeping - and has already managed to pee all over his clothes on several occasions while being changed. He has also already developed a rather good smug grin when you've just fixed the new nappy in place and he decides to go again... and he can burp to a top professional standard (daddy is, of course, very proud)...
And you know what? We've never been quite so tired (Nikki especially), but we've never been so happy either.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The Most Amazing Night...
Tonight, at about 9.05pm, Nikki gave birth to an 8lb baby boy. He is absolutely perfect, and I am sure I will write so much more over the coming weeks and months. But right now, if I turn round, I am greeted by the sight of Nikki asleep in the bed, and a beautiful little son in the basket next to her.
At the moment he remains nameless, but here are a couple of pictures to keep you happy!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Are YOU Ready?
This all came up when a friend of mine asked if they could test how ready I am for fatherhood. The test consisted of one question only. This question is number one below, and I have added a few more to make it a proper assessment. It’s certified by several examining boards, but they cannot find your exam papers, so they won’t be able to give you any marks. Have a go; see if you’re ready to be a dad!
Am I ready to be a dad?
An easy-to-do assessment of how ready you are to be a father. Play along and see how you do!
Do I have CDs that will make my children cringe when I play them?
a) Oh yes. Plenty.
b) maybe a couple.
c) Definitely not, I strictly listen to "trendy" chart pap.
Do I sigh when I find out that 12 year olds have lost their virginity while drunk?
a) Yes.
B) No.
c) Why should I? That's normal, isn't it?
Am I already dreaming of the nice things of being a dad, and desperately trying to ignore the bad things?
a) Definitely.
b) Nope, my feet are rooted to the ground.
c) There are no bad things. I’m going to get it pissed and then watch it choke on a spliff while I ride round on my stupidly tiny motorbike.
Have I practiced changing the nappies yet?
a) Nope.
b) Every day for at least an hour.
c) Only on the pets when I was drunk.
Is the most common thought you have about names for the baby?
a) No. I think about it, and have a few favourites, but I am not obsessed.
b) Are you kidding? I have notepads full of suggestions I carry with me!
c) I thought they already come with names...
Are you hoping to be there for the birth?
a) Yes, but I am scared I'll faint!
b) No. I will be there. I have bored everyone at work letting them know that the birth may be soon, so I may have to leave early that day…
c) Depends if I can use my ps2 at the same time.
Will you have a video camera with you to record the occasion?
a) No. I want to be part of things and might be needed to do something important.
b) Yes. It's our family heritage, and my duty.
c) If I can nick one in time.
Answers:
Mostly a's - you're ready to be a dad. Just the right amount of crackpot-logic and future embarrassment is stored in your mind to deal with situations with the casual use of the phrase "ask your mother". Ideally prepared.
Mostly b's - Oh dear. You'll probably chant ancient african birth rituals in the birth tee-pee in which your wife/partner/soulmate/spiritual connection has chosen to bring your poor offspring into the world. You will probably name them Rufus. Or Bangalore (because that's where you both "found yourselves").
Mostly c's - You are a chav. You will probably break up with the 12-year-old mother of your child next week, so what's the point in thinking about this? You should have been neutered at birth. With Burberry scissors if that would make it a little easier for you.
Am I ready to be a dad?
An easy-to-do assessment of how ready you are to be a father. Play along and see how you do!
Do I have CDs that will make my children cringe when I play them?
a) Oh yes. Plenty.
b) maybe a couple.
c) Definitely not, I strictly listen to "trendy" chart pap.
Do I sigh when I find out that 12 year olds have lost their virginity while drunk?
a) Yes.
B) No.
c) Why should I? That's normal, isn't it?
Am I already dreaming of the nice things of being a dad, and desperately trying to ignore the bad things?
a) Definitely.
b) Nope, my feet are rooted to the ground.
c) There are no bad things. I’m going to get it pissed and then watch it choke on a spliff while I ride round on my stupidly tiny motorbike.
Have I practiced changing the nappies yet?
a) Nope.
b) Every day for at least an hour.
c) Only on the pets when I was drunk.
Is the most common thought you have about names for the baby?
a) No. I think about it, and have a few favourites, but I am not obsessed.
b) Are you kidding? I have notepads full of suggestions I carry with me!
c) I thought they already come with names...
Are you hoping to be there for the birth?
a) Yes, but I am scared I'll faint!
b) No. I will be there. I have bored everyone at work letting them know that the birth may be soon, so I may have to leave early that day…
c) Depends if I can use my ps2 at the same time.
Will you have a video camera with you to record the occasion?
a) No. I want to be part of things and might be needed to do something important.
b) Yes. It's our family heritage, and my duty.
c) If I can nick one in time.
Answers:
Mostly a's - you're ready to be a dad. Just the right amount of crackpot-logic and future embarrassment is stored in your mind to deal with situations with the casual use of the phrase "ask your mother". Ideally prepared.
Mostly b's - Oh dear. You'll probably chant ancient african birth rituals in the birth tee-pee in which your wife/partner/soulmate/spiritual connection has chosen to bring your poor offspring into the world. You will probably name them Rufus. Or Bangalore (because that's where you both "found yourselves").
Mostly c's - You are a chav. You will probably break up with the 12-year-old mother of your child next week, so what's the point in thinking about this? You should have been neutered at birth. With Burberry scissors if that would make it a little easier for you.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Shocking or just pathetic...?
Two things have really caught my attention recently - one is this, a debate which has been sparked off by the Alpha Course cinema advert which has just been launched, and the Christian Advertising Network's Christmas campaign (which I rather like, I have to admit). In turn, reading about this led me back (somehow) led me back to this - and the whole debate on the BBC's screening of Jerry Springer The Opera.
I hated the debate that rose out of the showing of it. I could see where many Christians were coming from, and that there is a certain amount of double-standards in the way that Christianity was treated in relation to other religions (ie. Christianity is seen rather more as "fair game" than other religions) but I don't see how that could be on the same level as some of the arguments that went on.
There's a commonly-held view that the church as a whole (let's forget about denominations and the rest of it for my rather vague purposes) is out of date, and desperately trying to convince the outside world that they are wrong, and what happens inside the church is what is right. Perhaps this isn't so unfair a statement than it first appears - and to my mind, the reaction of some Christians to the show demonstrated this to be true.
OK, so it can be offensive to sensitive people. I won't argue with that. But it is a show designed to shock. Stewart Lee (the writer) has had a good record on religious humour that is genuinely funny and incisive, not just the kind of joke that your minister begins his or her sermon with on a Sunday morning or needlessly shocking like some comics do these days - there's a point to what he says, and he questions sensibly as well as using flights of fancy.
There is always a risk when you get to religious humour - there's a very fine line to walk which usually means you either sacrifice a few people's sensitivity or any genuine humour. It's either going to be funny or shocking, and Jerry Springer - The Opera does both of these, and does them well. It is always the shows, comedians and the like which tread this line who become legendary - Bill Hicks, Peter Cook, Monty Python etc. They don't just influence comedy, they influence culture and the society's climate we live in. There's nothing wrong with challenging either the establishment or the beliefs of others, but challenging is different from insulting or discriminating against.
I hold the belief that religion is as much fair game for comedy as anything else in life. Whether I am right or wrong, I'll live the best life I can and leave the judging to the Big G. I'm also not particularly sensitive when it comes to comedy - not a great deal shocks me, and I really enjoyed JSTO, but I can distinguish between fiction and reality quite easily these days. I'm not sure why people have such a problem with having a sense of humour. I understand that not being able to not take everything totally seriously all the time is a) not healthy and b) going to drive you mad.
This, I believe, is as true for religion as anything else. If we think about it, a lot of what we do in churches is tradition - and some of it can look ridiculous (especially to "outsiders"). I read the Bible several times a week, and I take what I can from what I am reading, but I don't think laughing at the Bible is a crime for which people should be ex-communicated and burnt in the fires of hell. After all, being able to laugh at ourselves is something the British are supposed to be able to do rather well, and its pretty healthy for you I think. If a belief in God is part of who you are, then why shouldn't you laugh at that part of you as much as anyone else?
People who take the Bible utterly seriously and live by the exact word rather than the spirit is the kind of person who develops into a really picky referee. And yes, the clue to what type of person they are lies in the word fundamentalist. Mentalists.
Kapeesh?!
I hated the debate that rose out of the showing of it. I could see where many Christians were coming from, and that there is a certain amount of double-standards in the way that Christianity was treated in relation to other religions (ie. Christianity is seen rather more as "fair game" than other religions) but I don't see how that could be on the same level as some of the arguments that went on.
There's a commonly-held view that the church as a whole (let's forget about denominations and the rest of it for my rather vague purposes) is out of date, and desperately trying to convince the outside world that they are wrong, and what happens inside the church is what is right. Perhaps this isn't so unfair a statement than it first appears - and to my mind, the reaction of some Christians to the show demonstrated this to be true.
OK, so it can be offensive to sensitive people. I won't argue with that. But it is a show designed to shock. Stewart Lee (the writer) has had a good record on religious humour that is genuinely funny and incisive, not just the kind of joke that your minister begins his or her sermon with on a Sunday morning or needlessly shocking like some comics do these days - there's a point to what he says, and he questions sensibly as well as using flights of fancy.
There is always a risk when you get to religious humour - there's a very fine line to walk which usually means you either sacrifice a few people's sensitivity or any genuine humour. It's either going to be funny or shocking, and Jerry Springer - The Opera does both of these, and does them well. It is always the shows, comedians and the like which tread this line who become legendary - Bill Hicks, Peter Cook, Monty Python etc. They don't just influence comedy, they influence culture and the society's climate we live in. There's nothing wrong with challenging either the establishment or the beliefs of others, but challenging is different from insulting or discriminating against.
I hold the belief that religion is as much fair game for comedy as anything else in life. Whether I am right or wrong, I'll live the best life I can and leave the judging to the Big G. I'm also not particularly sensitive when it comes to comedy - not a great deal shocks me, and I really enjoyed JSTO, but I can distinguish between fiction and reality quite easily these days. I'm not sure why people have such a problem with having a sense of humour. I understand that not being able to not take everything totally seriously all the time is a) not healthy and b) going to drive you mad.
This, I believe, is as true for religion as anything else. If we think about it, a lot of what we do in churches is tradition - and some of it can look ridiculous (especially to "outsiders"). I read the Bible several times a week, and I take what I can from what I am reading, but I don't think laughing at the Bible is a crime for which people should be ex-communicated and burnt in the fires of hell. After all, being able to laugh at ourselves is something the British are supposed to be able to do rather well, and its pretty healthy for you I think. If a belief in God is part of who you are, then why shouldn't you laugh at that part of you as much as anyone else?
People who take the Bible utterly seriously and live by the exact word rather than the spirit is the kind of person who develops into a really picky referee. And yes, the clue to what type of person they are lies in the word fundamentalist. Mentalists.
Kapeesh?!
Back from the wilds
What a busy wee chappie I have been recently. I can hardly walk for the aching in my muscles...
In the last two weeks - Nikki and I have been to our first ante-natal classes - we've had two now in fact, and I've been down to the wonderful north coast of Cornwall.The ante-natal classes were fine - quite fun really. The first week we did a lot of getting-to-know-you stuff, which are usually cringeworthy and not very nice to go through, but these weren't too bad. We did some quizzes in small groups to see how much we already knew, and then talked about some of the practical things about babies- ie. poo and nappies.Week two was slightly less interactive - we talked about the birth, what happens, when it happens, and where the dads should stand if they feel like they're going to faint. Interestingly, it wasn't in the middle of the room so you could be looked after... We also did a bit on massage, and I've had to add massage to my list of duties now!
My trip to Cornwall was lovely, but too short for my liking, and in the end it was hard to keep paying attention in the class after having spent six hours previously on trains getting home from Cornwall in time! Aside from the journey it was nice to see the place again, and made sure that a lot of the worries I have had are pushed firmly into perspective once and for all! And of course, it gave me some lovely scenery to go and look at when I got too nervous to watch the last day of the test match on Monday! Next time I go, we'll be accompanied by a wonderful little poo machine! Still, at least it's a good excuse to start buying all those beach toys again!
Pip pip for now!
In the last two weeks - Nikki and I have been to our first ante-natal classes - we've had two now in fact, and I've been down to the wonderful north coast of Cornwall.The ante-natal classes were fine - quite fun really. The first week we did a lot of getting-to-know-you stuff, which are usually cringeworthy and not very nice to go through, but these weren't too bad. We did some quizzes in small groups to see how much we already knew, and then talked about some of the practical things about babies- ie. poo and nappies.Week two was slightly less interactive - we talked about the birth, what happens, when it happens, and where the dads should stand if they feel like they're going to faint. Interestingly, it wasn't in the middle of the room so you could be looked after... We also did a bit on massage, and I've had to add massage to my list of duties now!
My trip to Cornwall was lovely, but too short for my liking, and in the end it was hard to keep paying attention in the class after having spent six hours previously on trains getting home from Cornwall in time! Aside from the journey it was nice to see the place again, and made sure that a lot of the worries I have had are pushed firmly into perspective once and for all! And of course, it gave me some lovely scenery to go and look at when I got too nervous to watch the last day of the test match on Monday! Next time I go, we'll be accompanied by a wonderful little poo machine! Still, at least it's a good excuse to start buying all those beach toys again!
Pip pip for now!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
The Ways of the Jungle
I do not claim to be a fashionable person, nor am I a considerably talented social observer. But I am a harrassed office worker in London, amongst other things. I have decided that I should keep a log of some of the rules, laws, annoyances etc that dominate my life as a reluctant commuter.
1.Unless you are an athlete or other sporty person, vests are not meant to be worn without something over the top.
2.The phrase "that's not a skirt, it's a belt", is not a compliment. Even when it's said by someone's dad. And it's usually accompanied by a grimace of disgust. There is a reason for this.
3.Baseball caps. Good idea in sunshine. But not when you are in a suit. Or it is cloudy.
4.Briefcases, I'm fairly sure, were not made to be used as battering rams.
5.Walking behind some people in London is like waiting to die.
6.Escalators only carry you up the stairs. You have to start walking once you reach the top.
7.Standing in front of empty seats is a VERY annoying habit.
8.If you watch some of the sharp-suited businessmen walking down Charing Cross Road, there is always one who studies female bottoms as they pass, and he is usually going to be the one who walks into the lamppost or stop traffic because they've just wandered out into the road. One day something will hit... (hopefully)
9.If you are going to make other people listen to what you've got on your personal stereo, make sure it's something good and not Girls Aloud...
10.People who are grinning maniacally at you on the train are probably not mad, and are probably not planning to fillet you like a big piece of Cod, they are probably just listening to Terry Wogan.
11.When did tracksuit bottoms become acceptable clothing to go out in?
12.Velour tracksuits. Why? And why is it always the larger people that wear them? Do they not realise what they look like? (OK, so stupid question...)
13.Deodorant is like gold dust on trains.
14.T-shirts and blazers. They don't go together. I mean, come on - even Busted got that right, and I... didn't really like them much.
15.People who read while they are walking, particularly in stations, are the ones who are likely to walk into someone or something. (I saw this a few weeks ago. And I am ashamed to say I felt rather smug...)
I will be back with more of these sometime!
1.Unless you are an athlete or other sporty person, vests are not meant to be worn without something over the top.
2.The phrase "that's not a skirt, it's a belt", is not a compliment. Even when it's said by someone's dad. And it's usually accompanied by a grimace of disgust. There is a reason for this.
3.Baseball caps. Good idea in sunshine. But not when you are in a suit. Or it is cloudy.
4.Briefcases, I'm fairly sure, were not made to be used as battering rams.
5.Walking behind some people in London is like waiting to die.
6.Escalators only carry you up the stairs. You have to start walking once you reach the top.
7.Standing in front of empty seats is a VERY annoying habit.
8.If you watch some of the sharp-suited businessmen walking down Charing Cross Road, there is always one who studies female bottoms as they pass, and he is usually going to be the one who walks into the lamppost or stop traffic because they've just wandered out into the road. One day something will hit... (hopefully)
9.If you are going to make other people listen to what you've got on your personal stereo, make sure it's something good and not Girls Aloud...
10.People who are grinning maniacally at you on the train are probably not mad, and are probably not planning to fillet you like a big piece of Cod, they are probably just listening to Terry Wogan.
11.When did tracksuit bottoms become acceptable clothing to go out in?
12.Velour tracksuits. Why? And why is it always the larger people that wear them? Do they not realise what they look like? (OK, so stupid question...)
13.Deodorant is like gold dust on trains.
14.T-shirts and blazers. They don't go together. I mean, come on - even Busted got that right, and I... didn't really like them much.
15.People who read while they are walking, particularly in stations, are the ones who are likely to walk into someone or something. (I saw this a few weeks ago. And I am ashamed to say I felt rather smug...)
I will be back with more of these sometime!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Practicing to be a dad
Having no fingernails left after yesterday morning's tense finish to the 2nd Test Match at Edgbaston, I'm back at work and starting to feel some withdrawal symptoms! I've refound my love of cricket this summer (which had turned more into a vague passing interest in the last couple of years), which is something that Nik doesn't share, but she's brilliant, and happy for me to play in at the weekends (well, she says she is!).
I won't bother with the deep analysis of the game or anything because that'll be done to death, and I really don't think I have the knowledge to do it anyway!
The last week or two, since I last posted here, things have levelled off again after the drama of a couple of weeks back. Baby's getting hiccups, boogying along to Louis Armstrong songs and improving their kicks so much it sometimes look like they're trying to escape early - but not the conventional way!
I'm practicing becoming a dad, too. I'm making sure my "That's not a skirt, it's a belt", "Ask your mother" and "You're not going out dressed like that, are you?" are all top-notch... Obviously the judge of a good dad is how bad your jokes are, so at least I'll be ok there!
Anyway, I'm off to see the recording of a BBC Radio 4 show tonight, "Think The Unthinkable". Should be good!
I won't bother with the deep analysis of the game or anything because that'll be done to death, and I really don't think I have the knowledge to do it anyway!
The last week or two, since I last posted here, things have levelled off again after the drama of a couple of weeks back. Baby's getting hiccups, boogying along to Louis Armstrong songs and improving their kicks so much it sometimes look like they're trying to escape early - but not the conventional way!
I'm practicing becoming a dad, too. I'm making sure my "That's not a skirt, it's a belt", "Ask your mother" and "You're not going out dressed like that, are you?" are all top-notch... Obviously the judge of a good dad is how bad your jokes are, so at least I'll be ok there!
Anyway, I'm off to see the recording of a BBC Radio 4 show tonight, "Think The Unthinkable". Should be good!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
One Scary Week...
I'm very glad last week is over.
Last Thursday I went to work as normal, just off Tottenham Court Road in Central London. I had to get home and wait for a parcel to arrive, so I was leaving early. My office is maybe 500 yards from Warren Street Tube Station.
Now before anyone jumps forward to a wrong conclusion, I wasn't anywhere near the attempted bombing at Warren Street - I'd already managed to get home by then, so all was well. In fact, I'd got home and switched on to enjoy the fantastic play of the first day of the test match by then, and only found out something had happened when there was a newsflash during the lunch interval...
When I'd checked Nikki was ok, I relaxed a bit - although it really bothered me that what happened in the city could have happened so close to my office.
So I settled back down to writing and checking my emails while keeping an eye on the news and the cricket. Then, at about 6.15 (it was during the break in the middle of the Simpsons), I got a phonecall from Nikki's mum to let me know that she'd taken Nik to Farnborough A&E. She'd gone into Anaphylactic Shock after eating some Tuna in Thai Sauce, and had been take down to A&E pretty quickly, so was in the right place in good time.
When I got there she was in Resuscitation (just in case her condition got worse, so they were in the right place to help). It was all rather scary - she was a bright red, like she'd been sunburnt all over, and the only place it hadn't reached was her feet. Her heart rate was extremely fast, and the blood pressure was pretty low. It was terrifying for me, so I really can't imagine what she was feeling!
She was moved to the Maternity ward, and kept in there overnight, with the baby being monitored every so often, just to check everything was well (it was - whenever the pads were strapped to Nikki, they moved around for a few seconds and then tried to push or kick the pads off!). Eventually, she was allowed to leave around 2.30ish on Friday afternoon.
That was a slight relief, and I was incredibly glad to get her home. I'd hardly slept at all the night before, and slept really quite well that night, I can tell you - and even better the night after playing cricket on Saturday (although I did have two beautiful bruises from the game - one covering the whole of my right thumb, and a nice round one on my stomach which went a great colour...!).
Scary few days. And what's scarier is that I really don't think its all over - the London thing especially, but I'll keep going and hope that Nikki can get off on Maternity Leave before anything else happens we could be caught up in...
Last Thursday I went to work as normal, just off Tottenham Court Road in Central London. I had to get home and wait for a parcel to arrive, so I was leaving early. My office is maybe 500 yards from Warren Street Tube Station.
Now before anyone jumps forward to a wrong conclusion, I wasn't anywhere near the attempted bombing at Warren Street - I'd already managed to get home by then, so all was well. In fact, I'd got home and switched on to enjoy the fantastic play of the first day of the test match by then, and only found out something had happened when there was a newsflash during the lunch interval...
When I'd checked Nikki was ok, I relaxed a bit - although it really bothered me that what happened in the city could have happened so close to my office.
So I settled back down to writing and checking my emails while keeping an eye on the news and the cricket. Then, at about 6.15 (it was during the break in the middle of the Simpsons), I got a phonecall from Nikki's mum to let me know that she'd taken Nik to Farnborough A&E. She'd gone into Anaphylactic Shock after eating some Tuna in Thai Sauce, and had been take down to A&E pretty quickly, so was in the right place in good time.
When I got there she was in Resuscitation (just in case her condition got worse, so they were in the right place to help). It was all rather scary - she was a bright red, like she'd been sunburnt all over, and the only place it hadn't reached was her feet. Her heart rate was extremely fast, and the blood pressure was pretty low. It was terrifying for me, so I really can't imagine what she was feeling!
She was moved to the Maternity ward, and kept in there overnight, with the baby being monitored every so often, just to check everything was well (it was - whenever the pads were strapped to Nikki, they moved around for a few seconds and then tried to push or kick the pads off!). Eventually, she was allowed to leave around 2.30ish on Friday afternoon.
That was a slight relief, and I was incredibly glad to get her home. I'd hardly slept at all the night before, and slept really quite well that night, I can tell you - and even better the night after playing cricket on Saturday (although I did have two beautiful bruises from the game - one covering the whole of my right thumb, and a nice round one on my stomach which went a great colour...!).
Scary few days. And what's scarier is that I really don't think its all over - the London thing especially, but I'll keep going and hope that Nikki can get off on Maternity Leave before anything else happens we could be caught up in...
Thursday, July 21, 2005
The Ashes begin today!
Well, the moment that every right-minded cricket fan has been waiting for is finally here - the Ashes begin this morning at Lords.
I'm really looking forward to it - am cautiously hopeful too - although being a fan of English cricket means I'm not really allowed (or able) to be optimistic enough to believe we'll win the series or anything. What I am confident about is that we'll give them a good run for their money this time, and maybe even win a couple of the tests, but I'm just not sure we're experienced enough to take the series.
It's a shame, as I grew up when England were still good enough to win the ashes - I was 2 when Botham's "Miracle of Headingley" happened, and was only 8 the last time we won the ashes. But I'm more nervous of what the media is saying than anything else - they seem to be setting England up for a huge fall if they don't do any less than push Australia all the way - I mean, all the jibes about the Aussies being too old or over the hill... What more incentive do you need when you've been told you're too old to do something? Expect some big scores from Gilchrist and Ponting, as well as some great bowling from McGrath then...
But I am happy - it's something else to occupy my mind with!
I'm really looking forward to it - am cautiously hopeful too - although being a fan of English cricket means I'm not really allowed (or able) to be optimistic enough to believe we'll win the series or anything. What I am confident about is that we'll give them a good run for their money this time, and maybe even win a couple of the tests, but I'm just not sure we're experienced enough to take the series.
It's a shame, as I grew up when England were still good enough to win the ashes - I was 2 when Botham's "Miracle of Headingley" happened, and was only 8 the last time we won the ashes. But I'm more nervous of what the media is saying than anything else - they seem to be setting England up for a huge fall if they don't do any less than push Australia all the way - I mean, all the jibes about the Aussies being too old or over the hill... What more incentive do you need when you've been told you're too old to do something? Expect some big scores from Gilchrist and Ponting, as well as some great bowling from McGrath then...
But I am happy - it's something else to occupy my mind with!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
While I stand still...
I'm getting used to things changing at the moment - a lot is happening in my life, and its left me in a bit of a spin. But I'm really enjoying the chances that are coming from all the change...
Its almost like I can rebuild my life to work the way it needs to from now on.
This means that some things need to change - and some things will fall to the wayside. It's a real shame that one of the items which has dropped has to be the youth work I've been doing with St John's and Christ Church.
I've loved doing it. The chance to pass on what (rather limited) wisdom I have and share my faith with others. It has been a pleasure being able to lead Questors and parts of Anvil Group. But I have to admit it took a lot out of me, while I had no spare time to get anything back. The result is that over the last few months, I've been doing a lot more than I should have been, and really began questioning my faith. I've been exhausted and drained in several ways - mentally, physically, spiritually, and really empty of enthusiasm. I don't mind admitting all of this, because I have the chance to move on and repair this damage. But I need a break, and that means I have stopped being part of youth work for now (with the exception of doing the occasional event/weekend).
It does feel like there's a rather large hole at the moment, and it really is difficult to come to terms with that. But I'll get there. I'm just a little subdued at the moment (doesn't help that I didn't get the job I interviewed for yesterday morning), and wondering where I can go now.
But there we go. While we stand still, the world moves round us faster than we can comprehend.
Its almost like I can rebuild my life to work the way it needs to from now on.
This means that some things need to change - and some things will fall to the wayside. It's a real shame that one of the items which has dropped has to be the youth work I've been doing with St John's and Christ Church.
I've loved doing it. The chance to pass on what (rather limited) wisdom I have and share my faith with others. It has been a pleasure being able to lead Questors and parts of Anvil Group. But I have to admit it took a lot out of me, while I had no spare time to get anything back. The result is that over the last few months, I've been doing a lot more than I should have been, and really began questioning my faith. I've been exhausted and drained in several ways - mentally, physically, spiritually, and really empty of enthusiasm. I don't mind admitting all of this, because I have the chance to move on and repair this damage. But I need a break, and that means I have stopped being part of youth work for now (with the exception of doing the occasional event/weekend).
It does feel like there's a rather large hole at the moment, and it really is difficult to come to terms with that. But I'll get there. I'm just a little subdued at the moment (doesn't help that I didn't get the job I interviewed for yesterday morning), and wondering where I can go now.
But there we go. While we stand still, the world moves round us faster than we can comprehend.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Back to work...
I struggle with what's happened in London.
I was vehemently against the Iraq war, and I didn't think going into Afghanistan (which was, after all an American quarrel) was the best of ideas for the UK. But I really can't see any angle from which these utterly cowardly attacks actually make a point.
I disagree firmly on many things Tony Blair and Ken Livingstone say and do, and don't exactly see either of them as the most sincere of polititians, but what both said on Thursday was spot on. Tony Blair spoke with passion and hurt - something you don't get to see from him very often. And Ken, if nothing else, says what he feels, and in this case, he spoke for all Londoners:
"...In the days that follow look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world will arrive in London to become Londoners and fulfillil their dreams and achieve their potential.
They choose to come to London, as so many have come before because they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live.
They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail."
The last couple of days I have been reading the diary of one of the survivors (here), and wandering to and from Charing Cross in the mornings, its amazing to see the amount of people who have decided to abandon the tube, at least for the moment. When Nik and I went to see the recording of Dave Gorman's new radio series, Genius, last night (and it was very good - very funny) I had to take the tube to get there... I was slightly nervous, but I know that its fairly unlikely anything will happen at the moment - the security is far tighter at the moment, and people are very wary of people getting on and off the trains.
It was weird travelling though - I changed trains at Euston to go down to the Angel station, and there's only one station in between - King's Cross. It's closed at the moment, so we weren't stopping, but we slowed down, and as we passed through, the carriage went silent and most of the passengers looked up from what they were reading or looking at and stared out of the windows at the empty platform. It was a genuinely sad moment, and nothing was said.
I am pretty angry that people like the nutjobs that carried out the attack think that this is a valid way of getting a point across, that they have so little regard for human life, that they pevert a faith which teaches peace and love (like my own) to justify wreaking such havoc and pain on innocents. And I am one of the lucky people - I wasn't near enough to either be hurt or see anything first-hand.
The one thing I pray for, more than the people who did this are caught, is that this doesn't begin to a period of attacks on Muslims. They aren't to blame for this. Any anger should not be directed to them.
And to hear that the BNP have used a photo of the bombed bus in some election leaflets for a by-election in London makes me feel physically sick - its almost the same disregard the bombers had for the people of London. How can someone be so disrespectful and callous?
I was vehemently against the Iraq war, and I didn't think going into Afghanistan (which was, after all an American quarrel) was the best of ideas for the UK. But I really can't see any angle from which these utterly cowardly attacks actually make a point.
I disagree firmly on many things Tony Blair and Ken Livingstone say and do, and don't exactly see either of them as the most sincere of polititians, but what both said on Thursday was spot on. Tony Blair spoke with passion and hurt - something you don't get to see from him very often. And Ken, if nothing else, says what he feels, and in this case, he spoke for all Londoners:
"...In the days that follow look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world will arrive in London to become Londoners and fulfillil their dreams and achieve their potential.
They choose to come to London, as so many have come before because they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live.
They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail."
The last couple of days I have been reading the diary of one of the survivors (here), and wandering to and from Charing Cross in the mornings, its amazing to see the amount of people who have decided to abandon the tube, at least for the moment. When Nik and I went to see the recording of Dave Gorman's new radio series, Genius, last night (and it was very good - very funny) I had to take the tube to get there... I was slightly nervous, but I know that its fairly unlikely anything will happen at the moment - the security is far tighter at the moment, and people are very wary of people getting on and off the trains.
It was weird travelling though - I changed trains at Euston to go down to the Angel station, and there's only one station in between - King's Cross. It's closed at the moment, so we weren't stopping, but we slowed down, and as we passed through, the carriage went silent and most of the passengers looked up from what they were reading or looking at and stared out of the windows at the empty platform. It was a genuinely sad moment, and nothing was said.
I am pretty angry that people like the nutjobs that carried out the attack think that this is a valid way of getting a point across, that they have so little regard for human life, that they pevert a faith which teaches peace and love (like my own) to justify wreaking such havoc and pain on innocents. And I am one of the lucky people - I wasn't near enough to either be hurt or see anything first-hand.
The one thing I pray for, more than the people who did this are caught, is that this doesn't begin to a period of attacks on Muslims. They aren't to blame for this. Any anger should not be directed to them.
And to hear that the BNP have used a photo of the bombed bus in some election leaflets for a by-election in London makes me feel physically sick - its almost the same disregard the bombers had for the people of London. How can someone be so disrespectful and callous?
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Two poems - part two
Again, doesn't need a great deal of explaining... It's written for Nikki and our baby.
A Firework Display
Miracles don't happen enough.
We hear this all the time,
and maybe sometimes we believe it,
sometimes we're tempted to ask,
to beg for more.
But it's not true.
Miracles are living with us,
breathing with us, falling with rain,
growing like plants, flowing through rivers.
Waking up takes effort,
while miracles rise with the sun.
Waiting for your own
takes patience, takes desire,
belief.
Waiting for new life
to emerge and enrich,
To teach you lessons and learn,
is lighting a firework and standing well back.
And every second of every day,
in every town on every continent,
this must happen - a fuse must be lit.
And every step back is a leap forward
with the universal,
the sacred.
Like lots of little lamps
being lit in the night,
the firework display begins.
A Firework Display
Miracles don't happen enough.
We hear this all the time,
and maybe sometimes we believe it,
sometimes we're tempted to ask,
to beg for more.
But it's not true.
Miracles are living with us,
breathing with us, falling with rain,
growing like plants, flowing through rivers.
Waking up takes effort,
while miracles rise with the sun.
Waiting for your own
takes patience, takes desire,
belief.
Waiting for new life
to emerge and enrich,
To teach you lessons and learn,
is lighting a firework and standing well back.
And every second of every day,
in every town on every continent,
this must happen - a fuse must be lit.
And every step back is a leap forward
with the universal,
the sacred.
Like lots of little lamps
being lit in the night,
the firework display begins.
Two poems - part one
This poem was written about the London bombings, on Thursday 7th July 2005. I don't think it needs much explaining, so I'll let it speak for itself.
The Altar Candles
Life can be stubbed out
like a candle on an altar.
But the altar has a life of it's own -
a constant flow,
a streaming queue of tapers
ready to replace the flames
with new ones.
There is always the sad wisps
from the quenched.
But there is always a match struck,
always a lighter flipped,
always a ready hand to
replace the lost.
And memory remains.
A swirling recall of lights
circling in the darkness,
living through what lingers.
The Altar Candles
Life can be stubbed out
like a candle on an altar.
But the altar has a life of it's own -
a constant flow,
a streaming queue of tapers
ready to replace the flames
with new ones.
There is always the sad wisps
from the quenched.
But there is always a match struck,
always a lighter flipped,
always a ready hand to
replace the lost.
And memory remains.
A swirling recall of lights
circling in the darkness,
living through what lingers.
A Quick Update
Just a few words to keep things up to date - the midwife appointment on Friday went really well - baby is wiggling around as much as ever, and is very healthy - the heartbeat is very strong and booming away at a good rate, their size seems to show the right growth rate for someone of their size and age, so everything is rather good - and Nik is still healthy, and by all accounts looking really good with it all - even on days when she doesn't feel it.
So things are fairly rosy in that department, and the stress of getting out of London from our offices on Thursday has quitened down - going back in to London will be an altogether new set of feelings, but its another story, and has to be done anyway.
So things are fairly rosy in that department, and the stress of getting out of London from our offices on Thursday has quitened down - going back in to London will be an altogether new set of feelings, but its another story, and has to be done anyway.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Another week passes...
Another week passes - and the baby continues to wiggle around more than a bucket of worms.
The Stokke arrived the day after I posted the last message. And I was right, you know. It is fancy. So fancy that it took the two of us quite a while to put it all together and get the hang of just a few of the things it does... But it is very impressive.
And we now have some nice new furniture for me to put together (a wardrobe and chest of drawers)... So at least I won't get bored!
We have a midwife appointment on Friday afternoon, too, so I'll have another medical update on baby then... But all seems well - except for the fact that they seem to enjoy putting mummy through torture by sitting or lying in the wrong places, which means Nik's put through some really bad pain when they do it! When space runs out in there, I'm sure that the body has to adapt to cope with baby's demand, but this particular baby seems to want all the space it can get - and is happy to try and stretch mummy whichever way they can to get the space they want!
Daddy will have to have words, I guess... (!)
The Stokke arrived the day after I posted the last message. And I was right, you know. It is fancy. So fancy that it took the two of us quite a while to put it all together and get the hang of just a few of the things it does... But it is very impressive.
And we now have some nice new furniture for me to put together (a wardrobe and chest of drawers)... So at least I won't get bored!
We have a midwife appointment on Friday afternoon, too, so I'll have another medical update on baby then... But all seems well - except for the fact that they seem to enjoy putting mummy through torture by sitting or lying in the wrong places, which means Nik's put through some really bad pain when they do it! When space runs out in there, I'm sure that the body has to adapt to cope with baby's demand, but this particular baby seems to want all the space it can get - and is happy to try and stretch mummy whichever way they can to get the space they want!
Daddy will have to have words, I guess... (!)
Thursday, June 30, 2005
A New Arrival...
Nikki is very excited. And I kind of want to know what all of the fuss is about, so so am I...!
Let me try and explain...
Last Saturday, Nikki went shopping. Not just any kind of shopping, either - to the big Mothercare thingy in Croydon. There she ordered a Stokke Xplory. Ok, so you may not know what one of those is. Well, it's this fancy thing below. See? I told you it was fancy!
Well, Nik has tried one of these out, and has told me (quite often now, actually) how good it is. It's Scandinavian, for a start, and they seem very clever over there - they seem to get comfort down to perfection without nasty little frilly flowery cushions or lace everywhere. (I have half a suspicion that Nik has ordered it to arrive before Saturday, so she can make me push her around Kew on it...!)
It's pretty high-tech for a pram-cum-push-chair (it does both, if you're wondering - the chair starts off as a pram, and can the convert... It can face either back or forwards, you can adjust the height, and it even comes with its own fancy pop-up shopping bag. Hmm. Advert over.)
And it should be arriving before Saturday.
Like I said, we're incredibly excited.
(I can't believe I just wrote that much on a flipping pram/pushchair...)
Let me try and explain...
Last Saturday, Nikki went shopping. Not just any kind of shopping, either - to the big Mothercare thingy in Croydon. There she ordered a Stokke Xplory. Ok, so you may not know what one of those is. Well, it's this fancy thing below. See? I told you it was fancy!
Well, Nik has tried one of these out, and has told me (quite often now, actually) how good it is. It's Scandinavian, for a start, and they seem very clever over there - they seem to get comfort down to perfection without nasty little frilly flowery cushions or lace everywhere. (I have half a suspicion that Nik has ordered it to arrive before Saturday, so she can make me push her around Kew on it...!)
It's pretty high-tech for a pram-cum-push-chair (it does both, if you're wondering - the chair starts off as a pram, and can the convert... It can face either back or forwards, you can adjust the height, and it even comes with its own fancy pop-up shopping bag. Hmm. Advert over.)
And it should be arriving before Saturday.
Like I said, we're incredibly excited.
(I can't believe I just wrote that much on a flipping pram/pushchair...)
Friday, June 24, 2005
On Badger Watch
For the last three nights I have been staying with Nikki, and I've had my first encounters with badgers. A plate of dog food and a sprinkling of raw peanuts seem to attract badgers better than anything! Wednesday night we had three at the same time, hoovering up all the peanuts and then scoffing down the dog food. Thursday night there were a couple who came up and hoovered up some of the peanuts before being scared off by something, and then a group of five all bundled on to the patio, right up against the patio doors to eat the food. Again, they went for all the peanuts before the dog food, but it was really good to see some badgers for the first time! Some of them are really quite bold, coming right up to the doors, putting their paws up on the glass to see whats going on! It's fun to watch - they really don't seem to be phased by people and light being around.
Tonight, though, the rain seems to have stopped them coming out for a bite to eat. Maybe another night...!
Tonight, though, the rain seems to have stopped them coming out for a bite to eat. Maybe another night...!
Friday, June 17, 2005
My Birthday
I had a really nice birthday on Tuesday, so I thought I would share it…
On Monday night, Nikki and I went up to London, and we stayed on the Sunborn Yaght Hotel - a four-star floating hotel permanently moored in the Docklands. It was lovely - we got the DLR to canary wharf and saw a film (The Pacifier - not really as bad as people think, but Vin Diesel does not suit roles where talking is involved, as he looks well out of his depth, and I still think he’s just a meathead who can fight...), then had a nice remainder-of-the-evening in our hotel room, having some dinner, watching TV and falling asleep on a very comfy bed!
The next morning I woke up to a pile of presents on the table - that makes it sound huge, but it was four or five... I got given a Darth Tater (a Mr Potato Head in a Darth Vader costume, basically), some fruit jellies, and Lemony Snicket's An Unfortunate Series of Events and the Incredibles on DVD... which was good!
Then Nikki went and had a shower and I started playing with the Tater (ever the grown-up). There was a knock on the door, so I ambled over and opened it. Outside was a woman holding a tray covered in breakfast-type food. "Did you order room service?" she asked.
I was a little shocked by this, and muttered something like "No, I don't think so..." and looked confused. So did she, and she looked at the number on our door and then back at me. Then this voice chimed out from the bathroom, "Yes we did!". So the woman came in and put the tray on the table.
When she had gone, I burst into the bathroom and a shocked Nikki looked up from under a towel and asked me what was wrong. "I had my Darth Tater all over the table! It was so embarrassing!" I wasn't embarrassed about answering the door in pajamas or anything, no, just that my toys were spread out across the breakfast table. By the time the woman came back with the hot chocolate for Nikki, Tater was safely stowed away in his box...
So, we then had a nice, leisurely breakfast and left the hotel about 10.30ish, and made our way across to the opposite side of London - to Kensington. We went to the Science Museum and went in the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy exhibition, as you already know. It was cool - thoroughly worth the £7.95 fee...
Then we made our way back across town and went to Covent Garden - and to Forbidden Planet. I bought myself a gun. For the first time ever. It's not your usual kind of gun, though - it's a replica of Marvin's gun from the HG2G movie (not that I remember him having one, but Nik assures me he did). Anyway, it fires foam darts with suckers on the ends and makes a loud laser-gun-type noise when it does it. I am very proud.
Then we went to HMV and I got a few bits in there, and then we went home. Well, almost. We went to Nikki's because she said she had one more present for me. And she did - a Spongebob Squarepants cake! I was very happy when I got home. Nik came round for dinner, and she actually allowed me to watch Top Gear (and I think she enjoyed some of it too, but don’t tell her I said that…!)
Anyway, that was my birthday. I had a really nice day!
On Monday night, Nikki and I went up to London, and we stayed on the Sunborn Yaght Hotel - a four-star floating hotel permanently moored in the Docklands. It was lovely - we got the DLR to canary wharf and saw a film (The Pacifier - not really as bad as people think, but Vin Diesel does not suit roles where talking is involved, as he looks well out of his depth, and I still think he’s just a meathead who can fight...), then had a nice remainder-of-the-evening in our hotel room, having some dinner, watching TV and falling asleep on a very comfy bed!
The next morning I woke up to a pile of presents on the table - that makes it sound huge, but it was four or five... I got given a Darth Tater (a Mr Potato Head in a Darth Vader costume, basically), some fruit jellies, and Lemony Snicket's An Unfortunate Series of Events and the Incredibles on DVD... which was good!
Then Nikki went and had a shower and I started playing with the Tater (ever the grown-up). There was a knock on the door, so I ambled over and opened it. Outside was a woman holding a tray covered in breakfast-type food. "Did you order room service?" she asked.
I was a little shocked by this, and muttered something like "No, I don't think so..." and looked confused. So did she, and she looked at the number on our door and then back at me. Then this voice chimed out from the bathroom, "Yes we did!". So the woman came in and put the tray on the table.
When she had gone, I burst into the bathroom and a shocked Nikki looked up from under a towel and asked me what was wrong. "I had my Darth Tater all over the table! It was so embarrassing!" I wasn't embarrassed about answering the door in pajamas or anything, no, just that my toys were spread out across the breakfast table. By the time the woman came back with the hot chocolate for Nikki, Tater was safely stowed away in his box...
So, we then had a nice, leisurely breakfast and left the hotel about 10.30ish, and made our way across to the opposite side of London - to Kensington. We went to the Science Museum and went in the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy exhibition, as you already know. It was cool - thoroughly worth the £7.95 fee...
Then we made our way back across town and went to Covent Garden - and to Forbidden Planet. I bought myself a gun. For the first time ever. It's not your usual kind of gun, though - it's a replica of Marvin's gun from the HG2G movie (not that I remember him having one, but Nik assures me he did). Anyway, it fires foam darts with suckers on the ends and makes a loud laser-gun-type noise when it does it. I am very proud.
Then we went to HMV and I got a few bits in there, and then we went home. Well, almost. We went to Nikki's because she said she had one more present for me. And she did - a Spongebob Squarepants cake! I was very happy when I got home. Nik came round for dinner, and she actually allowed me to watch Top Gear (and I think she enjoyed some of it too, but don’t tell her I said that…!)
Anyway, that was my birthday. I had a really nice day!
I wish I had as much time on my hands as them...
Here is a story I found on the BBC comedy site. Someone has set up an internet petition to get the phrase "yeh-but-no-but" from Little Britain put into the next edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Apart from the fact that the dictionary lists words and not phrases, this is ridiculous, surely!
For one thing, it doesn't mean anything.
There are better quotes from other programmes that should really be ahead of this in the queue (for example "you're about as edgy as a satsuma" from the Mighty Boosh, and "Smell My Cheese" or "Jackanackanory" from Alan Partridge - and they all have meanings...)
Ok, so the person's a fan of Little Britain, which is understandable, but really. How much time must they have spare to think this is a good idea?! It'd be interesting to see just how many people sign the petition though... Even if its so we get a good idea of how hard we'll have to work to get through to people these days!
Oh, and by the way, I think I have been proved right with the whole Big Brother thing. I was listening to an interview with the producer of BBC2's Springwatch, and somebody said that they were expecting more viewers for the last episode than Big Brother. At last, proper reality TV with interesting subjects (nature) has won over the trash!
Apart from the fact that the dictionary lists words and not phrases, this is ridiculous, surely!
For one thing, it doesn't mean anything.
There are better quotes from other programmes that should really be ahead of this in the queue (for example "you're about as edgy as a satsuma" from the Mighty Boosh, and "Smell My Cheese" or "Jackanackanory" from Alan Partridge - and they all have meanings...)
Ok, so the person's a fan of Little Britain, which is understandable, but really. How much time must they have spare to think this is a good idea?! It'd be interesting to see just how many people sign the petition though... Even if its so we get a good idea of how hard we'll have to work to get through to people these days!
Oh, and by the way, I think I have been proved right with the whole Big Brother thing. I was listening to an interview with the producer of BBC2's Springwatch, and somebody said that they were expecting more viewers for the last episode than Big Brother. At last, proper reality TV with interesting subjects (nature) has won over the trash!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
It's not fair!
I'm quite jealous, really. Not as a general rule, but at the moment I am... Nikki may look a bit like she's "swallowed a beach ball" (her phrasing, not mine...), but she gets to feel baby wriggling around and kicking.
I've decided - it's not fair. But it's life. And I guess I am getting away with rather a lot - I can't go through the same pain and discomfort that she is going through. I can feel the kicks sometimes if I put my hand on the bump, though, so at least that's something.
I think I saw somewhere that babies aren't supposed to kick just yet, but this one has been kicking for a few weeks! At least they're an early developer!
They (the baby) are already responding to our voices when we're reading stories, and certainly seems to love the warmth of the sunshine, as they do seem to wriggle around a lot more in the sun!
Nik's in some pain (and stairs are a particular problem), but apart from that, they're both well, which is good!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I knew there was something...
I was a bit confused after the press conference I wrote about last time - I swear I heard President Bush going on about the US's huge aid commitment, and using it as a reason for not wanting to commit any further resources at the moment.
Well, I found this story on the LA Times website which explains why I was confused far better than I could...
Well, I found this story on the LA Times website which explains why I was confused far better than I could...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Good news for Africa?
Tony and George say they are close to striking a deal on 100% debt cancellation for African countries. On the face of it, that's brilliant.
But that's not the whole issue. There are caveats and conditions that the US are determined to attach to any debt cancellation. It was being reported that the US were happy to cancel 100% of the debt, as long as this was taken into account with a reduction in aid being given after the cancellation. (which, surely, kind of ignores the entire point of cancelling the debt...), and last night, in their press conference President Bush mentioned that they were reluctant to make a commitment to increase their aid payments just yet, as the US have recently tripled their aid giving.
Let's just put this into perspective. The UK aren't the wonderful leaders in figures that we're beginning to be in thought and policy. In terms of the percentage of GDP we give as aid, we're about sixth or seventh on the list (I saw a list earlier, but I can't find it again...) But the US are another four or five below that. These are two of the richest countries in the world.
It's sort of reassuring that Gordon Brown and Tony Blair certainly seem to be taking the good fight to the US and challenging them to meet us halfway, but was it really even possible? Bush talks about paying attention to the African problems, but seems to be happy to commit far more money to a seemingly unwinnable and infinite war which is only doing more harm than good than to try and address pressing problems. This is a president who has recently been condemned by more than half of the US citizens polled for not paying any attention to really pressing problems in his own country...
If Bush isn't prepared to come forward and back us on this issue, there really doesn't seem to be ANY reason for going to war to back up our "Best Friends" over the pond (not that any of the other reasons were convincing or even factual). If we risk a hell of a lot more to go over there with them and lose lives unnecessarily on their behalf in their knee-jerk reaction of a war, why can't they back us on something for once?
It's a good first step, and a positive one to make sure Bush and the US are getting involved, but I doubt Bush is showing the passion of his own people on this issue, and it's certainly not enough.
There's a long way to go as it is, but the road may be longer if the US stall and avoid putting their money where their mouth is. It's a first step in the right direction, but the G8 is still the biggest hurdle to cross.
But that's not the whole issue. There are caveats and conditions that the US are determined to attach to any debt cancellation. It was being reported that the US were happy to cancel 100% of the debt, as long as this was taken into account with a reduction in aid being given after the cancellation. (which, surely, kind of ignores the entire point of cancelling the debt...), and last night, in their press conference President Bush mentioned that they were reluctant to make a commitment to increase their aid payments just yet, as the US have recently tripled their aid giving.
Let's just put this into perspective. The UK aren't the wonderful leaders in figures that we're beginning to be in thought and policy. In terms of the percentage of GDP we give as aid, we're about sixth or seventh on the list (I saw a list earlier, but I can't find it again...) But the US are another four or five below that. These are two of the richest countries in the world.
It's sort of reassuring that Gordon Brown and Tony Blair certainly seem to be taking the good fight to the US and challenging them to meet us halfway, but was it really even possible? Bush talks about paying attention to the African problems, but seems to be happy to commit far more money to a seemingly unwinnable and infinite war which is only doing more harm than good than to try and address pressing problems. This is a president who has recently been condemned by more than half of the US citizens polled for not paying any attention to really pressing problems in his own country...
If Bush isn't prepared to come forward and back us on this issue, there really doesn't seem to be ANY reason for going to war to back up our "Best Friends" over the pond (not that any of the other reasons were convincing or even factual). If we risk a hell of a lot more to go over there with them and lose lives unnecessarily on their behalf in their knee-jerk reaction of a war, why can't they back us on something for once?
It's a good first step, and a positive one to make sure Bush and the US are getting involved, but I doubt Bush is showing the passion of his own people on this issue, and it's certainly not enough.
There's a long way to go as it is, but the road may be longer if the US stall and avoid putting their money where their mouth is. It's a first step in the right direction, but the G8 is still the biggest hurdle to cross.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
WHY do people watch Big Brother?
Someone please explain why people bother with this. And Celebrity Love Island.
I mean, Big Brother may well have been genuinely interesting the first time round (until they staged the incident with "Nasty Nick"...), but really, it's becoming a bit of a zoo for idiots now. It has no point other than to humiliate and shock, and is just ridiculous.
If a "reality" show with celebrities is not interesting, why on earth would a show full of idiots and show-offs be interesting? (Hang on, I detect a smilarity here...) I imagine it'd be explained that these are "normal" people who are like us, and it makes interesting viewing because of just that. But in what way are these people "normal"? They're about as normal as the people who decide that the best way to resolve their problems is to go on Tricia to sort them out...
WHY is it so popular? WHY WHY WHY?!?! It makes no sense!
Celebrity Love Island is another class altogether. It's a celebrity show with no proper celebrities on it, and to make it worse, they are almost all the most excruciatingly annoying people ever to appear in public. Maybe they saw it as a nice way to get paid for going on holiday, but hmm. Don't get me wrong, I despise Celebrity Wrestling as well, but at least that requires a level of effort and preparation. But then, really, at least I have heard of most of the celebrities on Celebrity Wrestling... And that's saying quite a lot...!
I mean, Big Brother may well have been genuinely interesting the first time round (until they staged the incident with "Nasty Nick"...), but really, it's becoming a bit of a zoo for idiots now. It has no point other than to humiliate and shock, and is just ridiculous.
If a "reality" show with celebrities is not interesting, why on earth would a show full of idiots and show-offs be interesting? (Hang on, I detect a smilarity here...) I imagine it'd be explained that these are "normal" people who are like us, and it makes interesting viewing because of just that. But in what way are these people "normal"? They're about as normal as the people who decide that the best way to resolve their problems is to go on Tricia to sort them out...
WHY is it so popular? WHY WHY WHY?!?! It makes no sense!
Celebrity Love Island is another class altogether. It's a celebrity show with no proper celebrities on it, and to make it worse, they are almost all the most excruciatingly annoying people ever to appear in public. Maybe they saw it as a nice way to get paid for going on holiday, but hmm. Don't get me wrong, I despise Celebrity Wrestling as well, but at least that requires a level of effort and preparation. But then, really, at least I have heard of most of the celebrities on Celebrity Wrestling... And that's saying quite a lot...!
Scan number two
Yesterday we went back to the hospital to try and finish the scan that baby refused to let us finish last week... And everything went well - they were curled up in another direction from last week, and the angle needed was just possible for the scan to show up the brain structure, and everything is developing nicely, and everything looks well.
I was slightly nervous before we went in, I have to admit. There hadn't been as much movement as usual recently, but just as Nik and I got worried about that each time, baby gave a hefty boot somewhere to reassure us. It looks like this was nothing to worry about, but we're still quite cautious seeing as the advice says that if you don't feel any movement for 24 hours to get yourself down to the hospital...
Oh yes, the sex...
Nope, baby wouldn't let us find out yesterday either... They were curled up with their knees clamped together, and the scan was remarkably brief (although the wait wasn't) - the woman who was doing the scan was very efficient but pretty cold and reluctant to chat, so it wasn't a great deal of fun this time. But the bones were much, much clearer this time round - the spine and ribs particularly clear and it was a thrill seeing someone being defined and growing in there.
I'm still shaking my head because I can't really believe this is all happening. But I am very glad it's not a dream!
I was slightly nervous before we went in, I have to admit. There hadn't been as much movement as usual recently, but just as Nik and I got worried about that each time, baby gave a hefty boot somewhere to reassure us. It looks like this was nothing to worry about, but we're still quite cautious seeing as the advice says that if you don't feel any movement for 24 hours to get yourself down to the hospital...
Oh yes, the sex...
Nope, baby wouldn't let us find out yesterday either... They were curled up with their knees clamped together, and the scan was remarkably brief (although the wait wasn't) - the woman who was doing the scan was very efficient but pretty cold and reluctant to chat, so it wasn't a great deal of fun this time. But the bones were much, much clearer this time round - the spine and ribs particularly clear and it was a thrill seeing someone being defined and growing in there.
I'm still shaking my head because I can't really believe this is all happening. But I am very glad it's not a dream!
Friday, June 03, 2005
PostSecret
PostSecret
If you have a few moments, have a look at the inspirational PostSecret site - people post their secrets anonymously to the address on a personalised postcard, and a lot of them are posted on the site. The secrets are funny, touching and shocking, but all of them are fascinating, and it may well just make you feel better about something you've never told anyone.
If you have a few moments, have a look at the inspirational PostSecret site - people post their secrets anonymously to the address on a personalised postcard, and a lot of them are posted on the site. The secrets are funny, touching and shocking, but all of them are fascinating, and it may well just make you feel better about something you've never told anyone.
Pregnant Poetry
Pregnant Poetry
Poems about new life and babies all seem really corny,
and I don't want to ruin the joy with another rubbish one.
So I'll try really hard to make sense.
You're not even here yet.
But I feel you.
Not physically, but you're already around me.
Like a breath of wind,
you're gently storming into my life.
And I am afraid.
Afraid that all I am
Is not enough for you.
That all I can do will not sustain you.
That all I can be will never be enough.
But you whisper.
And you ask for love.
Love is enough.
How can I say no to that?
Poems about new life and babies all seem really corny,
and I don't want to ruin the joy with another rubbish one.
So I'll try really hard to make sense.
You're not even here yet.
But I feel you.
Not physically, but you're already around me.
Like a breath of wind,
you're gently storming into my life.
And I am afraid.
Afraid that all I am
Is not enough for you.
That all I can do will not sustain you.
That all I can be will never be enough.
But you whisper.
And you ask for love.
Love is enough.
How can I say no to that?
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Pictures from the scan
Courtesy of my lovely wife-to-be, the pictures below are here for you to enjoy... The wonders of her digital camera never cease!
The sideways view is our favourite because he/she looks very cute, but it's amazing to see them!
The sideways view is our favourite because he/she looks very cute, but it's amazing to see them!
Prayer lava lamp
lava lamp
This is great. The way it works is this: "when you click on a bubble a window opens in which you type your prayer. clicking amen then returns the bubble to the lamp where your prayer floats upwards until it's reunited with the lava. you can also minimise the lamp so it is just there in the corner of your screen."
It's a brilliant idea, and looks really good - great way to let worship and prayer invade your time online!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The Big Morning
Yesterday's scan went really well. Apart from the fact they couldn't do all the checks they needed to, but I'll come to that in a minute.
The whole morning was a little surreal, and now, short of the 4 pictures we managed to get printed off, it's a little hard to believe it was real! We got there early, which I think was agony for Nik, as she already had to drink plenty of water to make sure her bladder was full for the scan, and already needed the toilet by the time we got there...
In we went, and after twenty minutes of smeared jelly on Nik, and examining the little baby's internal organs etc we were told this: the heart is fine (we could see that, beating away strongly), the liver, kidneys and bladder are all there and all working properly, which means fluid is going through to the baby normally, and the bone structure is good - we could see the spine very clearly, and it was kind of beautiful, showing up as sharp white lines. We could see the person we're meeting around October, and everything was healthy. It was exciting. There was only one or two tests to go.
But there was a problem.
The baby had got itself into a nice, comfy position and steadfastly refused to move. The problem with this was that the last couple of tests they needed to do involved looking into the baby's brain and checking all was well there - but in the position he/she was comfy in, the scan couldn't get the required angle to manage it. So we were sent for a walk. Correction. I was sent for a walk with a pregnant woman who started to really struggle, and looked like she was going to explode like a water bomb when we got back to the hospital.
We went back into the scan room, and they tried again, but baby was, I assume, far too happy to let their health check get in the way of a nice lie down. I think we were secretly satisfied that our baby has already got the priorities of life down in the right order... To add to the comfy position, baby also had their legs firmly crossed, so we couldn't find out the sex, but we're going back next Monday to try again, and see if we can persuade baby to lie the right way for the scan!
So that was the scan. We have a couple of nice pictures which I'll try and get up on here as soon as I can (neither of us have a scanner that works, though, so if anyone wants to help me there... email me!)
We went shopping after that, and got some nice baby things, and a couple of things that they'll have to grow a bit before he/she can wear, but they were too nice to leave behind (at least, that's what Nikki was saying...)
We had stupid grins all over our faces all afternoon, and I think it was a bit of a wrench for Nik to allow me to take the pictures home to show my parents... But after all, she is the one that gets to be kicked and pulled around by the little person wriggling around inside her!
The whole morning was a little surreal, and now, short of the 4 pictures we managed to get printed off, it's a little hard to believe it was real! We got there early, which I think was agony for Nik, as she already had to drink plenty of water to make sure her bladder was full for the scan, and already needed the toilet by the time we got there...
In we went, and after twenty minutes of smeared jelly on Nik, and examining the little baby's internal organs etc we were told this: the heart is fine (we could see that, beating away strongly), the liver, kidneys and bladder are all there and all working properly, which means fluid is going through to the baby normally, and the bone structure is good - we could see the spine very clearly, and it was kind of beautiful, showing up as sharp white lines. We could see the person we're meeting around October, and everything was healthy. It was exciting. There was only one or two tests to go.
But there was a problem.
The baby had got itself into a nice, comfy position and steadfastly refused to move. The problem with this was that the last couple of tests they needed to do involved looking into the baby's brain and checking all was well there - but in the position he/she was comfy in, the scan couldn't get the required angle to manage it. So we were sent for a walk. Correction. I was sent for a walk with a pregnant woman who started to really struggle, and looked like she was going to explode like a water bomb when we got back to the hospital.
We went back into the scan room, and they tried again, but baby was, I assume, far too happy to let their health check get in the way of a nice lie down. I think we were secretly satisfied that our baby has already got the priorities of life down in the right order... To add to the comfy position, baby also had their legs firmly crossed, so we couldn't find out the sex, but we're going back next Monday to try again, and see if we can persuade baby to lie the right way for the scan!
So that was the scan. We have a couple of nice pictures which I'll try and get up on here as soon as I can (neither of us have a scanner that works, though, so if anyone wants to help me there... email me!)
We went shopping after that, and got some nice baby things, and a couple of things that they'll have to grow a bit before he/she can wear, but they were too nice to leave behind (at least, that's what Nikki was saying...)
We had stupid grins all over our faces all afternoon, and I think it was a bit of a wrench for Nik to allow me to take the pictures home to show my parents... But after all, she is the one that gets to be kicked and pulled around by the little person wriggling around inside her!
Monday, May 30, 2005
Warming up for the starting pistol...
Tomorrow morning is a big event. It’s the 20 week scan. That (for the people who don’t know – but I suspect that most of you reading this will) is when they do a full diagnostic scan, checking that everything is growing and developing ok. It’s scary – I think there are a few things flowing through our minds, worrying us briefly from time to time. The odd thoughts of “hang on, what if something’s wrong?” crop up and so all the excitement so far has really been for everyone else and a bit muted for us. It’s all so big, all so looming, important and well, honestly really humbling that we’re trying not to get too excited until after this scan.
So tomorrow is the real start, the proper beginning of the journey. The scary, thrilling and huge journey that we never expected to be on, but are so happy and really and truly grateful to get the chance. Off for a nervous night's sleep then.
Oh, and I’d like to make sure this is on the record too: “I’m a major panic merchant” – Nikki. I just may need it for future reference…
So tomorrow is the real start, the proper beginning of the journey. The scary, thrilling and huge journey that we never expected to be on, but are so happy and really and truly grateful to get the chance. Off for a nervous night's sleep then.
Oh, and I’d like to make sure this is on the record too: “I’m a major panic merchant” – Nikki. I just may need it for future reference…
Thursday, May 26, 2005
What Would Jesus Wear?
I’m a bit confused about the current rumpus about hoodies and caps and people who wear them in shopping centres.
If you're not sure what I'm talking about, go here
Bluewater banned them from being worn in the centre to help with their campaign against crime and anti-social behaviour because the people doing all of this tend to wear hoods and caps to obscure their faces from the CCTV cameras. I think that, as a principle, is quite sensible. The media gets hold of this story and mysteriously, the words youth, children, young people/thugs etc begin appearing in headlines. Even The Children’s Society got involved and said it was "blatant discrimination based on stereotypes and prejudices".
I find this, above all, is the most confusing thing of it all. There was no mention of an age-range being targeted in all of this until the story was grabbed by the media.
There is an issue of respect which still needs addressing, and not the way round people seem to think it should be – if adults want respect from young people, then they have to give respect. The stereotypes the Children’s Society refer to come from people not bothering to find out either why some of the young people behave the way they do and see if there’s a way to help change that, or even just to talk to some young people and realise that a hoodie and a cap doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll beat you up or shout at you across the street.
Tony Blair has been talking about “fostering a culture of respect” in the country, and immediately people jumped on it and turned it all towards young people. Hypocrisy will do nothing to raise respect.
Listening to Radio 5 Live last week during my lunch break meant I got to hear an interview Simon Mayo did with a couple of teenagers in Birmingham, I think it was. They pointed straight at one of the problems (just as young people always seem to be able to), and said that they don’t really feel like they should have respect for teachers, because they have no respect for the kids.
I would like to believe that the majority of people would rather give others the benefit of the doubt when they see how they look and assume they were good people rather than “yobs” (for example). But I think the culture of fear that has been so carefully nurtured in Western Countries – the same culture which has some spouting a lot of things they don’t really understand about refugees and immigrants, and supporting the war in Iraq, just to quote a couple of examples – has ended up with us turning in on “our own”, as it were, and now the younger generations are a feared group in our society. It’s far too easy to scapegoat young people and not bother looking for the real roots and causes of the problems.
I took the Bluewater ban to be a rather practical measure – and if the only inconvenience it will make to people’s lives is that they have to wear another jumper when they go shopping, then I really can’t understand what the fuss is all about.
“Fostering a culture of respect” is great soundbite politics. But where the media lets down its readers/viewers most times – at least in the publications and programmes which don’t go into great depth about a lot of the issues – is that there is a meaning behind all of this. One big problem with politics in this country (there are many others), is that the soundbites are outweighing the substance. It’s easier to quote a nice, succinct sentence in headlines, news reports and so on than it is to go a bit deeper and report what the soundbite means.
There are young people who give others a bad name. I think everyone accepts this. But simple faith in humankind should tell us that there are others out there who aren’t so bad. Every generation has “black sheep”, and the young generations are no different at all. But where they are different is the treatment they get.
I would far rather see youth workers and activities aimed at the young people visiting the centre being what the money is spent on rather than having more police based there or imposing dress codes which, let’s face it, only antagonise and aggravate. Why does the solution always have to be negative? It may prove to be effective, and it may not – that remains to be seen, but until then a larger wedge is pushed into the generation gaps in a bid to halt crime (and if you look at statistics, crimes committed by children between the ages of 10 and 17 went down by nearly 40,000 – or about 26% between 1992 and 2002).
It is depressing that the media can add just one or two words, and a lot of work done by good youth workers trying to put together links between generations can be lost in one go.
Come to think of it, it’s depressing that the media can get away with it all.
And for the record, I think Jesus would probably be wearing a hoodie too.
If you're not sure what I'm talking about, go here
Bluewater banned them from being worn in the centre to help with their campaign against crime and anti-social behaviour because the people doing all of this tend to wear hoods and caps to obscure their faces from the CCTV cameras. I think that, as a principle, is quite sensible. The media gets hold of this story and mysteriously, the words youth, children, young people/thugs etc begin appearing in headlines. Even The Children’s Society got involved and said it was "blatant discrimination based on stereotypes and prejudices".
I find this, above all, is the most confusing thing of it all. There was no mention of an age-range being targeted in all of this until the story was grabbed by the media.
There is an issue of respect which still needs addressing, and not the way round people seem to think it should be – if adults want respect from young people, then they have to give respect. The stereotypes the Children’s Society refer to come from people not bothering to find out either why some of the young people behave the way they do and see if there’s a way to help change that, or even just to talk to some young people and realise that a hoodie and a cap doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll beat you up or shout at you across the street.
Tony Blair has been talking about “fostering a culture of respect” in the country, and immediately people jumped on it and turned it all towards young people. Hypocrisy will do nothing to raise respect.
Listening to Radio 5 Live last week during my lunch break meant I got to hear an interview Simon Mayo did with a couple of teenagers in Birmingham, I think it was. They pointed straight at one of the problems (just as young people always seem to be able to), and said that they don’t really feel like they should have respect for teachers, because they have no respect for the kids.
I would like to believe that the majority of people would rather give others the benefit of the doubt when they see how they look and assume they were good people rather than “yobs” (for example). But I think the culture of fear that has been so carefully nurtured in Western Countries – the same culture which has some spouting a lot of things they don’t really understand about refugees and immigrants, and supporting the war in Iraq, just to quote a couple of examples – has ended up with us turning in on “our own”, as it were, and now the younger generations are a feared group in our society. It’s far too easy to scapegoat young people and not bother looking for the real roots and causes of the problems.
I took the Bluewater ban to be a rather practical measure – and if the only inconvenience it will make to people’s lives is that they have to wear another jumper when they go shopping, then I really can’t understand what the fuss is all about.
“Fostering a culture of respect” is great soundbite politics. But where the media lets down its readers/viewers most times – at least in the publications and programmes which don’t go into great depth about a lot of the issues – is that there is a meaning behind all of this. One big problem with politics in this country (there are many others), is that the soundbites are outweighing the substance. It’s easier to quote a nice, succinct sentence in headlines, news reports and so on than it is to go a bit deeper and report what the soundbite means.
There are young people who give others a bad name. I think everyone accepts this. But simple faith in humankind should tell us that there are others out there who aren’t so bad. Every generation has “black sheep”, and the young generations are no different at all. But where they are different is the treatment they get.
I would far rather see youth workers and activities aimed at the young people visiting the centre being what the money is spent on rather than having more police based there or imposing dress codes which, let’s face it, only antagonise and aggravate. Why does the solution always have to be negative? It may prove to be effective, and it may not – that remains to be seen, but until then a larger wedge is pushed into the generation gaps in a bid to halt crime (and if you look at statistics, crimes committed by children between the ages of 10 and 17 went down by nearly 40,000 – or about 26% between 1992 and 2002).
It is depressing that the media can add just one or two words, and a lot of work done by good youth workers trying to put together links between generations can be lost in one go.
Come to think of it, it’s depressing that the media can get away with it all.
And for the record, I think Jesus would probably be wearing a hoodie too.
The adventure so far
Well, it’s nearly a month since we found out about Nikki’s pregnancy, and I think our heads are more or less understanding what’s going on. Getting to grips with the fact that in October we’re going to be a family, and I am going to be a daddy, is like trying to grasp hold of an oily pipe – every time I think I have it in my grasp, it slips away with a clang…!
It’s mind-blowing. And it’s likely to become even more mind-blowing.
My prayers are becoming more of a daily pondering session. So far my reactions have been a little varied. There has been more smiling than anything else, I’m pleased to announce, but there have been plenty of everything else for my own tastes. But I am exhausted. Every emotion possible has flowed through me over the last three/four weeks, and I’m very happy – especially now that people know what’s happening, I think – but I am having to go home and sleep early, rather than spending most of my time with Nik (and the bump). That sounds a bit like a children’s book title – “Nik and the Bump”…
It’s a shame, but I’m reliably being told to get as much sleep as I can now, because it’ll be very difficult when the baby’s born. I can well believe that, too. Although at least there’ll be a reason for not sleeping, and the reason is more than worthwhile.
I have to admit, there’s an amazing sense of God about all of this. It’s amazing on so many different levels. It’s an honour to have the chance to bring someone else into the world. It’s amazing that the child growing at the moment even got this far, seeing as there were more obstacles in their way than the Royal Marines would put up with on an assault course.
There are too many things about their not-so-distant arrival which brings my heart into my mouth and makes me want to grin from ear to ear and dance round shouting for joy!
And in all this, I’m aware that I feel more touched by God than ever before.
OK, so Nik and I were hoping to get married before we thought about children – and I’m not sure how much of a thought we would have had, seeing as she had been told that children were not possible a couple of years back. So this has shocked us, and caught us rather off guard, but to be honest, we wanted to make a commitment to each other before the shock, and this really only prompted us to get up and tell people about that!
Reactions of people I’ve told have been a bit surprising too. If I am honest, the reaction of others was the one thing that nagged at me – I wasn’t sure how some would take the news, I think. But the response has been really positive and really supportive, on the whole. A couple of people have been rather shocked and haven’t said a lot, but most have been shocked to start with (they’re two huge pieces of news, and telling them together is a bit of a double-whammy!) and then got quite excited about it all. Which is great.
The babysitting offers have already started, and I have a feeling there are a lot of friends thinking of buying lots of baby things for us – which is nice, but a bit odd to me. I have never come across a situation where there are so many people being obsessed with something someone else is going to get that they start trying to help out. Not that I would complain about this – money is tight enough for us to be eternally grateful for everything we are given, or are helped with. I just hope it doesn’t all get out of hand to the point that we can’t have the joy of buying stuff for the baby because someone else has got it all! That’s very selfish, but I think it’s something we’re looking forward to!
There are two other things that bug me about pregnancy. The first is trains and especially in London rush-hours. No-one gives up their seat for a pregnant woman these days. I have heard that it was quite common, but since I have been working up here, I have not seen it happen once. There are still a few nice people around who’ll move up to give more room or swap seats so we can sit together, but otherwise they all seem to just retreat into their Metros or their Evening Standards and ignore anyone getting on. That’s quite a sad state to find the world in. And I find it amazing that people in suits seem to quite resent spending a relatively short time standing to help someone else who needs the seat more than them. What am I saying – first rule of business – if you have a suit, you rule. No-one else exists.
The second, which I admit hasn’t happened to Nikki (yet), is the obsession non-pregnant women seem to have with the bump. I mean, if somebody is willing to just wander up to a pregnant woman on the tube, start stroking her stomach and asking questions about when its due, I think you should be allowed to cut their arms off.
Maybe it’s just me, and I am pretty protective of my personal space in places like that, but it seems like an outrageous invasion of privacy. And it guarantees that everyone else on the train will look at the bump-stroker in confused horror...
Why do people feel the need to do it? It’s probably some kind of sexual assault if a man does it, so why can't we insist that these people train for years in midwifery or something?
Maybe people just want to share the joy... But its just such an odd way of doing that!
It’s mind-blowing. And it’s likely to become even more mind-blowing.
My prayers are becoming more of a daily pondering session. So far my reactions have been a little varied. There has been more smiling than anything else, I’m pleased to announce, but there have been plenty of everything else for my own tastes. But I am exhausted. Every emotion possible has flowed through me over the last three/four weeks, and I’m very happy – especially now that people know what’s happening, I think – but I am having to go home and sleep early, rather than spending most of my time with Nik (and the bump). That sounds a bit like a children’s book title – “Nik and the Bump”…
It’s a shame, but I’m reliably being told to get as much sleep as I can now, because it’ll be very difficult when the baby’s born. I can well believe that, too. Although at least there’ll be a reason for not sleeping, and the reason is more than worthwhile.
I have to admit, there’s an amazing sense of God about all of this. It’s amazing on so many different levels. It’s an honour to have the chance to bring someone else into the world. It’s amazing that the child growing at the moment even got this far, seeing as there were more obstacles in their way than the Royal Marines would put up with on an assault course.
There are too many things about their not-so-distant arrival which brings my heart into my mouth and makes me want to grin from ear to ear and dance round shouting for joy!
And in all this, I’m aware that I feel more touched by God than ever before.
OK, so Nik and I were hoping to get married before we thought about children – and I’m not sure how much of a thought we would have had, seeing as she had been told that children were not possible a couple of years back. So this has shocked us, and caught us rather off guard, but to be honest, we wanted to make a commitment to each other before the shock, and this really only prompted us to get up and tell people about that!
Reactions of people I’ve told have been a bit surprising too. If I am honest, the reaction of others was the one thing that nagged at me – I wasn’t sure how some would take the news, I think. But the response has been really positive and really supportive, on the whole. A couple of people have been rather shocked and haven’t said a lot, but most have been shocked to start with (they’re two huge pieces of news, and telling them together is a bit of a double-whammy!) and then got quite excited about it all. Which is great.
The babysitting offers have already started, and I have a feeling there are a lot of friends thinking of buying lots of baby things for us – which is nice, but a bit odd to me. I have never come across a situation where there are so many people being obsessed with something someone else is going to get that they start trying to help out. Not that I would complain about this – money is tight enough for us to be eternally grateful for everything we are given, or are helped with. I just hope it doesn’t all get out of hand to the point that we can’t have the joy of buying stuff for the baby because someone else has got it all! That’s very selfish, but I think it’s something we’re looking forward to!
There are two other things that bug me about pregnancy. The first is trains and especially in London rush-hours. No-one gives up their seat for a pregnant woman these days. I have heard that it was quite common, but since I have been working up here, I have not seen it happen once. There are still a few nice people around who’ll move up to give more room or swap seats so we can sit together, but otherwise they all seem to just retreat into their Metros or their Evening Standards and ignore anyone getting on. That’s quite a sad state to find the world in. And I find it amazing that people in suits seem to quite resent spending a relatively short time standing to help someone else who needs the seat more than them. What am I saying – first rule of business – if you have a suit, you rule. No-one else exists.
The second, which I admit hasn’t happened to Nikki (yet), is the obsession non-pregnant women seem to have with the bump. I mean, if somebody is willing to just wander up to a pregnant woman on the tube, start stroking her stomach and asking questions about when its due, I think you should be allowed to cut their arms off.
Maybe it’s just me, and I am pretty protective of my personal space in places like that, but it seems like an outrageous invasion of privacy. And it guarantees that everyone else on the train will look at the bump-stroker in confused horror...
Why do people feel the need to do it? It’s probably some kind of sexual assault if a man does it, so why can't we insist that these people train for years in midwifery or something?
Maybe people just want to share the joy... But its just such an odd way of doing that!
Purposes...
Welcome to the blog...
Just to clarify something before I start, I have no idea where all this will go. But I want to chart the progress of the next few months/maybe years somewhere, as well as get up to a few other things, so a blog seemed the most natural place to start!
This'll probably end up being a rather eclectic mix of everything that makes up my life - writing, youthwork, music, campaigning, comedy, faith (I hesitate to use the word religion, because I don't like what that implies), and of course, the looming event which will force me to grow up once and for all - the start of a family.
I wanted to start it now because it's a unique time in my life - we're a little under five months away from finding out what the little person growing steadily inside Nikki's womb will be like, and it also sees the start of a project for me, which will come up again later on in the blog, which I am hoping will prove too much for just me and more people will become involved.
My background, briefly, is this - I live on the green edges of South East London. I am a civil servant, currently working for DCMS, and am engaged to Nikki.
I worship in Orpington, at St Johns United Reformed Church, and am a volunteer youth worker for both them and Christ Church Petts Wood.
I'm 25 - well, 26 in about two weeks, and at the moment, living at home with my parents and brother. But that is going to change, because despite all the obstacles, Nikki is expecting our first child in October, so the world seems to be turning a bit faster than I can cope with at the moment!
Thankfully it's all good news though!
Well, that's something about me. Enjoy the blog.
Just to clarify something before I start, I have no idea where all this will go. But I want to chart the progress of the next few months/maybe years somewhere, as well as get up to a few other things, so a blog seemed the most natural place to start!
This'll probably end up being a rather eclectic mix of everything that makes up my life - writing, youthwork, music, campaigning, comedy, faith (I hesitate to use the word religion, because I don't like what that implies), and of course, the looming event which will force me to grow up once and for all - the start of a family.
I wanted to start it now because it's a unique time in my life - we're a little under five months away from finding out what the little person growing steadily inside Nikki's womb will be like, and it also sees the start of a project for me, which will come up again later on in the blog, which I am hoping will prove too much for just me and more people will become involved.
My background, briefly, is this - I live on the green edges of South East London. I am a civil servant, currently working for DCMS, and am engaged to Nikki.
I worship in Orpington, at St Johns United Reformed Church, and am a volunteer youth worker for both them and Christ Church Petts Wood.
I'm 25 - well, 26 in about two weeks, and at the moment, living at home with my parents and brother. But that is going to change, because despite all the obstacles, Nikki is expecting our first child in October, so the world seems to be turning a bit faster than I can cope with at the moment!
Thankfully it's all good news though!
Well, that's something about me. Enjoy the blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
