27 Going On 50 (Part 3)

- I thought that Dirty Sanchez was a reasonably good name for a band. Then I found out that it was just a bunch of drunk welsh blokes. Doing Jackass. Strangely, I still failed to see the point.

- 5 pence coins are too small now – I remember when they were the size of the new 10p and prefer them that way because that way I wouldn’t lose them!

- I still don’t see the point in Westlife.

- Big Brother, Celebrity Love Island and the rest – they’re trash. That’s really and truly what I think. I’d rather spend my evening carefully selecting and slicing off various parts of my anatomy than watch them.

- I read books, not just wait for the film to come out.

- If the film of the book comes out while I am reading it or before I have read it, I refuse to watch the film until I have finished.

- I don’t like “Friends”. It is not as funny as everyone says it is.

- Neither is Only Fools and Horses. Although I don’t mind watching that…

- I also think that Bo Selecta should be taken off air as soon as possible and the guy in it, along with the idiot who commissioned it and anyone else willingly involved should be imprisoned for crimes against humanity.

- Alan Bennett is one of my heroes.

- I have grey hairs. Although I will not provide photographic evidence of this, and I reserve the right to use dye when I think the time is right…

An unnerving encounter

On the way from the bus stop to the house this evening, I had to cross a road. And while I was waiting, two , shall we say, large chav girls came over. I was listening to my mp3 player, and if I am honest, pretending that they weren't there. Then I became aware that one was waving a hand in front of me...
"Helloooo!"
"Oh." Unplugs himself from the music. "Hello."
"Oh, so you are alive then?"
"That would appear to be true, well done."
Girls looks very confused this. "Wha?"
"Never mind. What do you want?"
"Nuffin really. Just a chat and stuff."
"Can your friend here not talk?"
"Yeah. Jus, you know, fort you'd ave summink good to say."
"Right. That's erm, nice of you."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Do you ave summink good to say?"
"Not really, I'm trying to listen to something."
"Oh right. Fine. You're so f***in rude"
"And you've just wasted two minutes of my f***in life. Bye."

I feel a bit ashamed by that. I don't swear that often. But I'm also strangely proud...

Now Is The Time...

Right now, I am not attached to any church. I’m not part of a family, and if I’m honest, not really concentrating on my faith as much as I should be. But there are some things that remind me what I’m missing.

I haven’t seen delirious? live for a couple of years now. Still bought the records and kept an eye on the website, but I haven’t been to a gig. There are many reasons for that. But I guess nothing can replace the live feeling – the tingling as everyone raises their hands to salute the reason for all of this. The unbridled joy that rises from your chest when you are one of hundreds singing the chorus with the band.

The new delirious? release is a live dvd/cd set, which comes fairly close to recreating the memories I have of sweaty nights in the Shepherd’s Bush Empire, or Camden Underworld… The choice of tracks is stunning – doesn’t overlap with any of the other 4 (!) live albums they’ve released [has any other band ever released that many live albums?!] and the set deftly crosses lines between the breathless rock-out tunes and the more humble ones.

Not only that, but the dvd set is slightly different to the cd set, and the extra materials on the dvd are pretty good too – as you’d expect from the D:boys.

It’s not just a good live rock album, it’s a great worship album. And while it’s helped blow away some cobwebs in the last couple of days, my mind is focussing a little better on God.

Things aren’t easy at the moment, and the temptation to give up is always strong – but every time I forget that placing every thing in His hands is the best thing I can do, every time I start to think that there’s actually no good way through, or nothing good that can happen, He proves me wrong.

It’s annoying that I need that much convincing. I know He is always there, so why should I doubt it? I guess because I am human. And that’s what we do. Stupid, aren't we?

As if the monobrow wasn't enough...

There's another point to Mr C. de Burgh's existence... other than the obvious - composing distinctly mediocre - at best - songs for middle-aged women to go gooey over...

I love the quote in the middle of the article:

He said his musical work meant he was "connected very
strongly" to his hands.

Brilliant. I'd hate to think he was disconnected from them... Does that mean he has specific "piano hands" that he attaches before he goes on stage? I'd like to see that. As long as I could have earplugs, obviously.

(Click on the title of this post to see the article...)

27 Going on 50... (Part 2)

- I look utterly daft in baseball caps.

- I’d rather be comfortable than fashionable.

- Drinking myself half to death has no appeal to me (but drinking does – I’d just rather hold on to what’s left of my dignity occasionally).

- I would rather get the stopping train than the fast, because I’ll have more time to read.

- I prefer fountain pens to biros. (I don’t know whether that makes me old or “uncool”, but its certainly unusual. Apparently.)

- Leather wingback chairs are one of the most comfortable things in the world. Unless you’re wearing shorts. In which case, you are a moron to go anywhere vaguely NEAR leather furniture.

- I baulk at the price of a cup of tea or coffee. (But I still buy one)

- I am rubbish at all but the simplest of video games (I’m not bad at one of the Spongebob Squarepants ones, but that’s it. Seriously. Even football games have to be on the easy levels for me to win. And that makes it boring because I win 8-0 and its not a challenge).

- I get up far too early every morning. (OK, so that’s for work and to look after Luke, but its still true enough)

- I am reluctant to queue at bus stops. (That’s not true, but I’ve made my point, I think…)

- I do not understand text speak. Sorry – I dun undrstnd txt spk. I’m sure they teach about vowels in schools still. Yes, you heard me, vwls.

- I don’t have the first idea why people think that going out for a drink in Tracksuit bottoms is a good idea. They may be comfortable, and they go with the baggy t-shirt and baseball cap you’re wearing - but they make you look like you’ve just got up, and they’ll soak up anything you spill…

- No matter how ashamed I am of this, as its not really me… I actually tutted at someone recently.

- The time I go to bed is an important piece of information to me.

- I am fussy about the type of tea I drink.

- I don’t find Jackass remotely funny. In fact, if they get hurt, I sometimes catch myself thinking, “That’ll teach them a lesson” or “That should knock some sense into them”.

- And I am usually slightly disappointed to realise that it hasn't knocked some sense into them. They're still there. Maiming themselves. Please, someone hold my sides, I may fall apart.

- R ’n’ B music to me, is what became rock ’n’ roll. Don’t see Beyonce in Blue Suede Shoes. Impostor.

- I still remember watching John Barnes score for England versus Brazil in 1984 (albeit vaguely)…

- I was one of the people who helped Chesney Hawkes get his one and only chart hit.

- I have boxes of Cassette singles.

- I used to read Look-in and Smash Hits (when it was "good").

27 Going on 50... (Part 1)

I’ve had a realisation (with the help of the great Dave Gorman’s bloggy-news page). I’m getting old rather quickly. It’s either that or I am even more firmly “uncool” by today’s standards…

- I am already a 'man of hobbies' (albeit if I'd like one or two of them to become my profession).

- I like nothing more than a cup of tea/pint of bitter or ale and a nice sit down with some one or people I like.

- I have been known to use the phrase "I'm not going in there, there are no seats left…" and "what does she think she's wearing?".

- I even grew a beard briefly last year, after Luke was born (I lasted four days. And when I shaved, my face was red from all the scratching I had done when it irritated me) - and that just seals it.

- I don't smoke a pipe yet, but I do own a dressing gown and slippers.

- I also would love a monacle.

- The last time I went to buy an umbrella, I seriously considered getting a big one that doesn't fold down to the size of a 5p piece, just because I guessed I was grown up now.

- I fall asleep in front of the TV. Regularly.

- I have been known to willingly watch News24.

- Lager makes me feel sick – it tastes like the product of a child who’s been on a cola-induced bender all day (fizzy wee). I’d far rather sip at a pint of real ale/bitter.

- I remember discontinued sweets – and when Polos only cost 12p (and have friends I talk this over with).

- I listen to prog rock on a regular basis.

- And I am proud of it.

- I like Richard Curtis films.

- I am very proud that I am “uncool”. And I would be prepared to wear a badge or tshirt that says that. [Then we’ll see who’s cool, won’t we, chumps?]

Thankfully though, I still don’t read the Daily Mail or the Evening Standard. I’m not falling for that…

I am sure I will come up with more reasons I am old/”uncool”. For that reason, I will make this just Part 1...

Worms make you scream

Oddly enough, after a distinctly un-wild evening, I find myself feeling like my head’s been kicked in by a man wearing concrete boots and then had to listen to Ken Livingstone give a 3 hour speech on how brilliant he is.

The reason is Luke – the poor little man did not have a good night last night and that was because of a trip to the park… Aside from playing football with his mummy and making a new friend, he decided he wanted to stop and eat some worm casts. The result was a small man with a nasty tummy ache screaming his little head off, pausing only to make parping noises that would make a Sonic Boom sound like a pin drop.

It does make me wonder. Nikki goes back to work on the Monday after next, and I wonder if he’s realised something big is happening and is trying to get as much of his mummy’s attention as possible. He seems to push me away if I go to get him and call for his mummy…