Do the words “Outstanding” and “Contribution” mean anything these days?

Hmm. How do I put this?

I was at a loss for words when I heard this news from last week's Brit Awards:

Outstanding contribution to music: Oasis

WHAT???! WHAT FOR?

FOR NICKING OTHER PEOPLE’S MUSIC AND THEN PROCLAIMING THEMSELVES AS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?

FOR LOOKING LIKE A BUNCH OF SHAMBOLIC DRUNK TOSSERS?

FOR NOT SHAVING AND/OR CUTTING THEIR HAIR BECAUSE IT’S “COOL” TO COVER THE HOOD OF YOUR FRAYED AND PEE-STAINED PARKA WITH YOUR MANKY DANDRUFF?

I just don’t get it.

What do people see in them? The attitude is irritating, and isn’t backed up by their back-catalogue. They’re amazingly intolerant of other artists and genres, especially seeing as everyone else has to put up with their own inane shamblings in the media.

I will concede that there are a few good songs in there – Wonderwall (although Ryan Adams’ version showed that the original was a poor version), The Masterplan (although that was a B-side…), Whatever, and Definitely Maybe was a good album… and I have heard very good things about the new album.

I will also nail my colours to the mast. In the whole Oasis vs. Blur contest thingy at the height of “Britpop” (yuck), I was firmly, and still am, fighting the Blur corner. They are infinitely more creative, more experimental, more popular. And yet, it’s Oasis that are honoured.

I assume they have been honoured for making sure people don’t forget how good the Beatles were.

I once heard someone on a tube train telling someone that Oasis were so good because they are what the Beatles would sound like if they were still together now.

I have a feeling that if the Beatles sounded like that, they’d have gladly given up music and gone to work in a fast-food restaurant. Which is what Oasis should have done instead of inflicting themselves on us and getting rich from being idiots that can shout over the squeals of a guitar being assaulted and then fight amongst themselves in the press conference afterwards.

I’d have thought an award for outstanding contribution to music should be given to someone who we couldn’t live without. I think I’d far rather try to survive without them.