Moving the mountain (off the face of the earth)

And Partners In Crime is completely forgotten. My word this was good.

Soothsayers, volcanoes, underground monsters, stone people, ancient circuitry, moral depth for Donna (who saw that coming?! – I don’t believe you if you say you did…), fabulous actors...

Any shortcomings from the week before, forgotten and gone. This was lovely. Even the water pistol moment was good. In fact, it was far better than that – it was classic Who – it sits alongside offering Jelly Babies and cups of tea, and bamboozling enemies with insults so intelligent that they are still standing scratching their head while their plan is unraveled around them.

This is what I call Doctor Who… at least, what I did when I was little. It was one of those moments that you look for with every new Doctor, the moment where they challenge the previous incumbent’s reputation… Where they mark their path. Introduce their own little quirk to the role. The first moment that Pertwee’s furrowed brow morphed into that cheeky glint in the eye, when Tom Baker’s teeth filled the screen like an Attenborough Shark Special. When Davison adjusted the leek on his lapel and straightened his hair. When McCoy doffed his hat and swung his question-mark-handled brolly. When Colin Baker’s doctor had a break…

[Read the rest here...]

And so it begins...

At last! Andrew summed all that sentiment up perfectly, so I won't add to that, except to say that I am glad its back, if a little nervous.

I have several gripes with Catherine Tate. Not least the idea that The Guardian put out there on the same day as episode 1 was broadcast that she's "Britain's best-loved woman comic"... I don't particularly find her sketch show all that funny and there are characters on that which make me want to put my foot through the telly.

But in 2006, whether I liked it or not, she encroached on my ground... She was in Doctor Who. And she was, well, alright. It wasn't a great story, and the character was pretty unlikeable. But it was alright. It was watchable - but having David Tennant in the cast does that to a programme...

So what on earth was this going to be like with the grating Donna by DT's side, combatting what looked to be the least-threatening menace since the half-painted Myrka stumbled into the Sea Station in Warriors of the Deep? Its so much harder to get away with crap monsters these days. It was much easier when it was very clear to all that this hideous alien/creature was obviously a man in a half-painted suit - because Doctor Who fans didn't care - its about getting lost in the fantasy of it all, letting your brain compute this as real for 20 minutes a week. Now, though, CGI has added it's double-edged twopenneth in. On the one hand, they're able to create the most stunning things I've seen on UK telly. On the other hand, there isn't anything to be left to the imagination. So how were they going to pull this off?

[Read the rest here...]

Beginnings (2)

I had two beginnings. One false start that sent me scurrying for cover, and then the reunion…

My first happened when I was plainly not ready to see Dr Who. It’s actually one of my first memories (other than falling asleep in front of Live Aid and waking up to see that now-famous video to the Cars song…)

I clearly remember seeing a scene from Earthshock – where Cybermen march up a metal staircase. It genuinely frightened me, and I then remember running and wrapping myself in nearby full-length curtain to hide... 15 or so years later, watching it back again while at university, the same feelings flooded back and I felt a chill down my spine.

The second beginning was a trip to a video shop with my dad. I’d begun watching the TV series properly by then (starting with Sylvester McCoy), and I was playing all the requisite playground versions – everyone wanted to be Ace. Boy or girl, it didn’t matter. Ace was clearly cooler. And so I, being smaller than most of my peers, became the Doctor. On the upside, quite clearly, I was better - after all, I had my own Tardis. And everyone else was a girl. Technically. But anyway, I’d become obsessed with the Doctor, and I wanted more.

Somehow (memory is hazy on the exact details of how I managed it), I got my dad to buy me Spearhead From Space. I took it home and devoured it. Again and again. This was a Doctor I didn’t know, I had never seen before, and was totally different to the one I’d met. But this one was dashing, erudite, and was basically a scientist dressed like Adam Adamant. But I took that in my stride. And their special effects were better than the ones on telly (because they didn't have to go over the top). I loved the story, and was very wary of shop window mannequins for a VERY long time afterwards.

There was something different about all this, though. I immersed myself, but all the while I was picking up the rudimentaries of right and wrong, of the value of life. Of love for others. And after all, while my friends were totally obsessed with football, I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for them. They watched 22 men in shorts kick a ball around while I loved cricket and watched an eccentric, clever and funny man help up scantily-clad women while he was saving the earth. Sigh.


Favourite Doctor:

Patrick Troughton. While my first was both McCoy and Pertwee, I suppose, and I always thought Paul McGann was brilliant but never got a fair go... my second (dad-bought) video was The Seeds of Death. And I’ve always had a sweet spot for the "Cosmic Hobo", so I’ll go with him. Maybe it’s the daft trousers and the blatant darts at comedy. Maybe it was because he died of a heart attack after (allegedly) attempting to seduce another actor’s wife at a Sci-Fi convention. I don’t know. But the Seeds of Death is one of the finest things I’d ever seen, and I’ve always loved the way his doctor dealt with some terrifying monsters (Cybermen, Yeti, Daleks, the Ice Warriors, the Great Intelligence) with fantastic grace and panache (for the time) and still found time to get everyone else’s back up by practicing the Recorder…


Favourite Story:

This is tough! There are a few that really and truly drew me in until I was completely hooked. The Ambassadors of Death, Robots of Death, The Pyramids of Mars, Talons of Weng Chiang, Ghostlight, The Android Invasion, The Daemons.
I’ll plump for The Web of Fear though. Pulsating thriller set in the tunnels of the London Underground, with Yeti stalking, looking for prey. Oh, and green stuff on walls. Always good. Really threatening, close thriller which is captivating just from the soundtrack (only episode 1 still exists on film).


Monster/enemy:

This used to be the easiest answer for me. It was always the Cybermen. Daleks, like Andrew, I thought were dull. Really, really not scary and not too hard to run away from. Cybermen were virtually unbeatable (except of course if you happened to have a wrinkly old woman from the Sixteenth Century who came with her own gold arrows… ahem), and they were determined. And Colin Baker’s brush with them (The Attack of The Cybermen), is an overlooked gem.
But for me, it’s the Master.
There’s a series of encounters with Pertwee’s doctor that are absolutely riveting – The Mind of Evil and the Claws of Axos in particular are brilliantly simple but complex thrillers… but the master always has the advantage over the Doctor that gives way to a fascinating story while the Doctor fights to reel him in. And his return last year with Derek Jacobi and John Simm was just, well, perfect. It was classic Master and bang up to date all at once.


Which companion did you either want to be or fancy:

The years watching old videos made a huge impression on me… Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen)…

I always wanted to be in UNIT. I suppose they count as companions...


What are you looking forward to:

The return of the Sontarans - OK, they look a bit like rubber-moulded humpy-dumpty models in shiny suits, but they're another one of the old-school monsters who were genuinely interesting to watch. Oh, and UNIT returns in the same episode too!
I'm also looking forward to stories by two particular writers - Gareth Roberts and Stephen Moffat...


Dreading:

I am thoroughly dreading what they’re going to do with the return of Rose…
I'm really beginning to hate the whole romance element of the series. Rose was far enough for me. But then Martha, and now Donna too - falling in love with him. Maybe its naiive to expect that love could be kept out of this, but its making David Tennant's doctor look like a ladies' man, when traditionally, I suppose, he's always been a bit above that.

Ood - Oodio - Oodles - Oodience - Oodearmeitookthistoofar...

For the last couple of months, I've been writing on another blog - in case people out there haven't seen.

This particular blog will appeal to people who like Doctor Who, of any level of interest (you don't have to be a fanatical nutjob to enjoy what we write). It's called The Ood Cast (as it is technically a spin-off from the wonderful Odd Cast) and you can find it here: The Ood Cast blog

and if you haven't had a listen to the Odd Cast, you can find it here: The Odd Cast Podcast
From this week I'm going to start posting my articles from there on here and I'll begin putting the old ones up first - just, you know, so its duplicated and really annoys people.

We're hopefully going to have a debut podcast up and available for download soon (but we'll have to record it and stuff first...).

Please go and have a look if you are so inclined, enjoy the articles contributed by my fine, upstanding colleagues Andrew and Chris and why not be bold and leave a comment? You never know, we might not even censor you!

“Return of Routemaster in doubt says transport chief”

Gosh. Now there’s a shock. Boris may not be able to keep one of his unrealistic manifesto pledges… I don’t believe it…

You’ll be telling me that they run some sort of long race with people dressed up like cartoon characters every year next…

They already do that? Really?

Well, well.

The Day of Truth... Have Londoners just "done a Bush"?

"Boris as mayor? Lovely to see other comedians getting work, but four years is a bit long for a comedy routine."
- David Mitchell

This is from a very good Guardian [here] which puts the case against BoJo as he has annoyingly become known. I voted for someone else, with good conscience, and to be honest, out of the people who stand a chance, I hope to all is holy that Ken wins again. If the quotes below don't make you think otherwise, there's something wrong. What scares me most is that someone who is a hypocritical, lying, bumbling, racist, homophobic, ignorant, elitist wally might actually have managed to dislodge someone who - while not universally popular - has done a lot to further the multi-cultural and accepting society of London, as well as try some Green policies (which I admit, he hasn't done enough). I do find him funny. But in the same way I find George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. And what fine, upstanding, well-informed, in touch and completely unevil gentlemen they are.

I cannot believe that we sat here laughing at the US for "electing" such a man for so long and now we have come so close to following their footsteps almost exactly over here in London. If you hadn't bothered to find out exactly what BoJo is like past the jokes and the "policies", here are some quotes from the Guardian article that sum him up.

Oh, and as much as I respect everyone's right to vote for whoever the hell they like... shame on you if you voted for Boris.

Boris Johnson in his own words

The wannabe mayor on race, sex and politics

On homosexuality
"Gay marriage can only ever be a ludicrous parody of the real thing." · Daily Telegraph, 2005

"If gay marriage was OK - and I was uncertain on the issue - then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog."· From his book, Friends, Voters, Countrymen, 2001

"We don't want our children being taught some rubbish about homosexual marriage being the same as normal marriage, and that is why I am more than happy to support Section 28." · Daily Telegraph, 2000

"The clerics gave us [journalists] a wigging for being so mean to the Church of England ... Why did we draw attention to tricky subjects like homosexuality, aka the Pulpit Poofs issue?"· The Spectator, 2000

"I'm not bisexual so far ... not that I would condemn myself if I later discovered I were."· Daily Telegraph, 2008

On Africa
"No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird."· In 2002, on Tony Blair's visit to the Democratic of Republic of Congo, Daily Telegraph

"Right, let's go and look at some more piccaninnies."· Reported remark, while visiting Uganda, to Swedish Unicef workers and their black driver, the Observer, 2003

On the Commonwealth
"It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies."· Daily Telegraph, 2002

On failing to recognise his Filipina housekeeper
"When our housekeeper appeared on stage in her hot pink strapless number [as a finalist of the Mrs Philippines 2005 contest in London], I failed at first to recognise her, surrounded as she was by 10 other Filipina mums, each shimmering in every shade from fuchsia to Germolene ... Was that Luz, the No 6, the one with the cleavage? Or was she No 5, with the smile? Surely she wasn't No 11, the one with the legs. No: wait - that was her, with her hair up. No 8! 'We want eight,' we screamed, and waved at good old Luz, a woman who has been exposed to the full horror of the Johnson family washing and yet contrived to look little short of $1m. · The Spectator, 2005

On his prospects
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."· The Independent, 2004

George Bush and Iraq
"He liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me."· Daily Telegraph, 2004

"The Americans were perfectly happy to go ahead and whack Saddam merely on the grounds that he was a bad guy, and that Iraq and the world would be better off without him; and so indeed was I." · Daily Telegraph, 2003

On Islam
"The most viciously sectarian of all religions in its heartlessness towards unbelievers."· The Spectator, 2005

On race
"I'm down with the ethnics. You can't out-ethnic me, Nihal ... My children are a quarter Indian, so put that in your pipe and smoke it."· To Nihal Arthanayake, BBC Asian Network, 2008

On cannabis
"It was jolly nice. But apparently it is very different these days. Much stronger. I've become very illiberal about it. I don't want my kids to take drugs." · GQ, 2007

On sex
"I've slept with far fewer than 1,000."· On whether he has slept with fewer than 30 women, like Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, Daily Telegraph, 2008

"An inverted pyramid of piffle."· The Mail on Sunday, 2004, on allegations that he had an affair with Petronella Wyatt, later confirmed.

On obesity
"Nothing but their own fat fault."

On transport
"I don't believe [using a mobile phone at the wheel] is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on."· Daily Telegraph, 2002

"The whole county of Hampshire was lying back and opening her well-bred legs to be ravished by the Italian stallion."· GQ, while in a Ferrari

On Liverpool
"A society that has become hooked on grief and likes to wallow in a sense of vicarious victimhood."· A Spectator editorial, 2004 (Johnson didn't write the editorial, but he approved it)

On his arts role
"Look, the point is ... er, what is the point? It is a tough job but somebody has got to do it."· On being appointed Tory Arts spokesman, 2004

On stag hunting
"I remember the guts streaming, and the stag turds spilling out on to the grass from within the ventral cavity ... This hunting is best for the deer." · From his book Lend Me Your Ears

Don't know much about history...

I found this on Kester's blog...

I'm no expert on history, but... hang on...

I don't know why, but it really reminded me of this Far Side Cartoon:

Voting for ANYONE but Boris...

I am now able to vote on 1st May, so I am going to set out my stall now, in the hope that someone, anyone, will listen...

PLEASE DON'T VOTE FOR BORIS JOHNSON!

He is only popular because of novelty value, and is simply "doing a Cameron" and announcing populist ideas that either wouldn't work or would make things worse in London. As well as opposing environment-improving measures already in place and sharing George W. Bush's view on the Kyoto Protocol (which is selfish, ignorant and criminal, in my opinion - that's Boris, not the Kyoto Protocol...).

Just please, listen to reason. As whimsical and comic on Have I Got News For You as he may have been... and despite of as good an impression of a scarecrow as I've ever seen... Is he really the kind of person you want in charge? Even if you don't want Ken again, Boris is NOT the only alternative!

I would normally look to vote for the Lib Dems, if I'm honest. But this time, their candidate is awful. Essentially, they're fielding a single-issue candidate in Brian Paddick. All he knows is crime, being an ex-Met Police Commissioner. All I've heard him talk about is crime. Y-A-W-N.
But I'd rather he got in than Boris Johnson without question...

For me, the choice is between the Green Party and Left List (formerly part of the Respect Coalition)... and right now, the Greens have the best manifesto of the lot. Cuts to bus and tube fares, free insulation for every home that needs it, affordable housing and a higher minimum wage in the public sector.

All that's left after that is the pointless UKIP, the unspeakable BNP, the English Democrats (who?), and the groan-causing Christian Choice party.

The most bizarre statement I've heard so far is from Richard Barnbrook, the BNP candidate. He opposes the London 2012 Olympic Games, and says he would "offer them to Athens" should he win. Well, he won't. And what's more, he clearly doesn't understand how these things all work if he thinks he'd have that choice...

But please, don't vote for Boris... you won't be able to get rid of him after half an hour...

My Secret Life as a Goth Clown...

I have some smart shoes. Well, I think they're smart, and they're rather nice in my opinion. Bought, originally for my brother's wedding, in case you're wondering. I like them. They're comfy and they're fairly smart. I wore them to a job interview today, and they did the job - I suppose I might well have looked fairly smart.

I had an interview for a job at another government department, and it went OK - although I am the worst judge possible on things like this and I'm rarely right if I guess the outcome.

I really enjoyed it, actually, which worries the hell out of me. Its not right, is it? Interviews are ordeals, aren't they? I've never enjoyed an interview before, so I have no idea if its a good thing or not! The interview panel were all very nice and friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying... and were just lovely about it all. I guess I'm just glad that they didn't ask me to define "diversity", like I was asked in my last one... My answer to that was so awful that it jeopardised my chances. Wasn't ignorant or rude or racist or anything - just dumb because I hadn't even though about that!

There was just one thing that bugged me. My shoes.

Lovely and comfy they may be, but they are an inch or two longer than my feet, and makes me look a bit like either a Goth Clown or someone who's just bought some shoes from a charity shop and these were the best fit they had..

Still, fingers crossed. I'll let you know what the job is and where it is when I find out the result.

Springer Case Dismissed by Lords

I am very pleased to hear this...

It should finally put an end to a ridiculous set of events surrounding Jerry Springer: The Opera.

It is just such a shame that Christian Voice have to be so flippin' patronising about it.

This is from the article linked above:

"Christian Voice called the decision an "ignoble move".

"It brings down the judgement of God on us all," said Stephen Green, national director of the evangelical lobby group.

"I love my neighbour and I do not want that to happen."

You love your neighbour enough not to credit them with enough intelligence to work out whether they find the show offensive for themselves? You love them so much that you're telling them that they should find it offensive, and if they don't then the warming coals of Beelzebub's fireplace will greet them in the afterlife?

You love them so much that you thought you'd drag this pathetic, holier-than-thou, anachronistic complaint out for over three years?

This is a controversial show, there's no doubt about it. When it was shown on BBC Two, it prompted 63,000 complaints from viewers. But this was mostly people complaining that it contained over 200 swearwords, not Christians complaining about the content.

Christian Voice complained that the show contained images that "vilify God and the Bible". Of course it does. It's a satirical show that deals with modern life as seen on the Jerry Springer show. You think they're all God-fearing, good-intentioned tea-totalers? Any joke that deals with religion would meet that statement. It doesn't mean that every joke is another nail in the coffin of humanity's future. Maybe it means that God can take a joke because he knows that its not everyone's opinion. And, well, it's just a joke.

If its that serious, why would He need you to take up the fight? I'm sure he could retaliate if He wanted to. Get down off your high horses and let someone else have a rant. You don't represent the whole of Christianity. And you certainly don't represent my "Christian voice". So pipe down.