Gosh. Now there’s a shock. Boris may not be able to keep one of his unrealistic manifesto pledges… I don’t believe it…
You’ll be telling me that they run some sort of long race with people dressed up like cartoon characters every year next…
They already do that? Really?
Well, well.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
The Day of Truth... Have Londoners just "done a Bush"?
"Boris as mayor? Lovely to see other comedians getting work, but four years is a bit long for a comedy routine."
- David Mitchell
This is from a very good Guardian [here] which puts the case against BoJo as he has annoyingly become known. I voted for someone else, with good conscience, and to be honest, out of the people who stand a chance, I hope to all is holy that Ken wins again. If the quotes below don't make you think otherwise, there's something wrong. What scares me most is that someone who is a hypocritical, lying, bumbling, racist, homophobic, ignorant, elitist wally might actually have managed to dislodge someone who - while not universally popular - has done a lot to further the multi-cultural and accepting society of London, as well as try some Green policies (which I admit, he hasn't done enough). I do find him funny. But in the same way I find George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. And what fine, upstanding, well-informed, in touch and completely unevil gentlemen they are.
I cannot believe that we sat here laughing at the US for "electing" such a man for so long and now we have come so close to following their footsteps almost exactly over here in London. If you hadn't bothered to find out exactly what BoJo is like past the jokes and the "policies", here are some quotes from the Guardian article that sum him up.
Oh, and as much as I respect everyone's right to vote for whoever the hell they like... shame on you if you voted for Boris.
Boris Johnson in his own words
The wannabe mayor on race, sex and politics
On homosexuality
"Gay marriage can only ever be a ludicrous parody of the real thing." · Daily Telegraph, 2005
"If gay marriage was OK - and I was uncertain on the issue - then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog."· From his book, Friends, Voters, Countrymen, 2001
"We don't want our children being taught some rubbish about homosexual marriage being the same as normal marriage, and that is why I am more than happy to support Section 28." · Daily Telegraph, 2000
"The clerics gave us [journalists] a wigging for being so mean to the Church of England ... Why did we draw attention to tricky subjects like homosexuality, aka the Pulpit Poofs issue?"· The Spectator, 2000
"I'm not bisexual so far ... not that I would condemn myself if I later discovered I were."· Daily Telegraph, 2008
On Africa
"No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird."· In 2002, on Tony Blair's visit to the Democratic of Republic of Congo, Daily Telegraph
"Right, let's go and look at some more piccaninnies."· Reported remark, while visiting Uganda, to Swedish Unicef workers and their black driver, the Observer, 2003
On the Commonwealth
"It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies."· Daily Telegraph, 2002
On failing to recognise his Filipina housekeeper
"When our housekeeper appeared on stage in her hot pink strapless number [as a finalist of the Mrs Philippines 2005 contest in London], I failed at first to recognise her, surrounded as she was by 10 other Filipina mums, each shimmering in every shade from fuchsia to Germolene ... Was that Luz, the No 6, the one with the cleavage? Or was she No 5, with the smile? Surely she wasn't No 11, the one with the legs. No: wait - that was her, with her hair up. No 8! 'We want eight,' we screamed, and waved at good old Luz, a woman who has been exposed to the full horror of the Johnson family washing and yet contrived to look little short of $1m. · The Spectator, 2005
On his prospects
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."· The Independent, 2004
George Bush and Iraq
"He liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me."· Daily Telegraph, 2004
"The Americans were perfectly happy to go ahead and whack Saddam merely on the grounds that he was a bad guy, and that Iraq and the world would be better off without him; and so indeed was I." · Daily Telegraph, 2003
On Islam
"The most viciously sectarian of all religions in its heartlessness towards unbelievers."· The Spectator, 2005
On race
"I'm down with the ethnics. You can't out-ethnic me, Nihal ... My children are a quarter Indian, so put that in your pipe and smoke it."· To Nihal Arthanayake, BBC Asian Network, 2008
On cannabis
"It was jolly nice. But apparently it is very different these days. Much stronger. I've become very illiberal about it. I don't want my kids to take drugs." · GQ, 2007
On sex
"I've slept with far fewer than 1,000."· On whether he has slept with fewer than 30 women, like Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, Daily Telegraph, 2008
"An inverted pyramid of piffle."· The Mail on Sunday, 2004, on allegations that he had an affair with Petronella Wyatt, later confirmed.
On obesity
"Nothing but their own fat fault."
On transport
"I don't believe [using a mobile phone at the wheel] is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on."· Daily Telegraph, 2002
"The whole county of Hampshire was lying back and opening her well-bred legs to be ravished by the Italian stallion."· GQ, while in a Ferrari
On Liverpool
"A society that has become hooked on grief and likes to wallow in a sense of vicarious victimhood."· A Spectator editorial, 2004 (Johnson didn't write the editorial, but he approved it)
On his arts role
"Look, the point is ... er, what is the point? It is a tough job but somebody has got to do it."· On being appointed Tory Arts spokesman, 2004
On stag hunting
"I remember the guts streaming, and the stag turds spilling out on to the grass from within the ventral cavity ... This hunting is best for the deer." · From his book Lend Me Your Ears
- David Mitchell
This is from a very good Guardian [here] which puts the case against BoJo as he has annoyingly become known. I voted for someone else, with good conscience, and to be honest, out of the people who stand a chance, I hope to all is holy that Ken wins again. If the quotes below don't make you think otherwise, there's something wrong. What scares me most is that someone who is a hypocritical, lying, bumbling, racist, homophobic, ignorant, elitist wally might actually have managed to dislodge someone who - while not universally popular - has done a lot to further the multi-cultural and accepting society of London, as well as try some Green policies (which I admit, he hasn't done enough). I do find him funny. But in the same way I find George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. And what fine, upstanding, well-informed, in touch and completely unevil gentlemen they are.
I cannot believe that we sat here laughing at the US for "electing" such a man for so long and now we have come so close to following their footsteps almost exactly over here in London. If you hadn't bothered to find out exactly what BoJo is like past the jokes and the "policies", here are some quotes from the Guardian article that sum him up.
Oh, and as much as I respect everyone's right to vote for whoever the hell they like... shame on you if you voted for Boris.
Boris Johnson in his own words
The wannabe mayor on race, sex and politics
On homosexuality
"Gay marriage can only ever be a ludicrous parody of the real thing." · Daily Telegraph, 2005
"If gay marriage was OK - and I was uncertain on the issue - then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog."· From his book, Friends, Voters, Countrymen, 2001
"We don't want our children being taught some rubbish about homosexual marriage being the same as normal marriage, and that is why I am more than happy to support Section 28." · Daily Telegraph, 2000
"The clerics gave us [journalists] a wigging for being so mean to the Church of England ... Why did we draw attention to tricky subjects like homosexuality, aka the Pulpit Poofs issue?"· The Spectator, 2000
"I'm not bisexual so far ... not that I would condemn myself if I later discovered I were."· Daily Telegraph, 2008
On Africa
"No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird."· In 2002, on Tony Blair's visit to the Democratic of Republic of Congo, Daily Telegraph
"Right, let's go and look at some more piccaninnies."· Reported remark, while visiting Uganda, to Swedish Unicef workers and their black driver, the Observer, 2003
On the Commonwealth
"It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies."· Daily Telegraph, 2002
On failing to recognise his Filipina housekeeper
"When our housekeeper appeared on stage in her hot pink strapless number [as a finalist of the Mrs Philippines 2005 contest in London], I failed at first to recognise her, surrounded as she was by 10 other Filipina mums, each shimmering in every shade from fuchsia to Germolene ... Was that Luz, the No 6, the one with the cleavage? Or was she No 5, with the smile? Surely she wasn't No 11, the one with the legs. No: wait - that was her, with her hair up. No 8! 'We want eight,' we screamed, and waved at good old Luz, a woman who has been exposed to the full horror of the Johnson family washing and yet contrived to look little short of $1m. · The Spectator, 2005
On his prospects
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."· The Independent, 2004
George Bush and Iraq
"He liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me."· Daily Telegraph, 2004
"The Americans were perfectly happy to go ahead and whack Saddam merely on the grounds that he was a bad guy, and that Iraq and the world would be better off without him; and so indeed was I." · Daily Telegraph, 2003
On Islam
"The most viciously sectarian of all religions in its heartlessness towards unbelievers."· The Spectator, 2005
On race
"I'm down with the ethnics. You can't out-ethnic me, Nihal ... My children are a quarter Indian, so put that in your pipe and smoke it."· To Nihal Arthanayake, BBC Asian Network, 2008
On cannabis
"It was jolly nice. But apparently it is very different these days. Much stronger. I've become very illiberal about it. I don't want my kids to take drugs." · GQ, 2007
On sex
"I've slept with far fewer than 1,000."· On whether he has slept with fewer than 30 women, like Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, Daily Telegraph, 2008
"An inverted pyramid of piffle."· The Mail on Sunday, 2004, on allegations that he had an affair with Petronella Wyatt, later confirmed.
On obesity
"Nothing but their own fat fault."
On transport
"I don't believe [using a mobile phone at the wheel] is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on."· Daily Telegraph, 2002
"The whole county of Hampshire was lying back and opening her well-bred legs to be ravished by the Italian stallion."· GQ, while in a Ferrari
On Liverpool
"A society that has become hooked on grief and likes to wallow in a sense of vicarious victimhood."· A Spectator editorial, 2004 (Johnson didn't write the editorial, but he approved it)
On his arts role
"Look, the point is ... er, what is the point? It is a tough job but somebody has got to do it."· On being appointed Tory Arts spokesman, 2004
On stag hunting
"I remember the guts streaming, and the stag turds spilling out on to the grass from within the ventral cavity ... This hunting is best for the deer." · From his book Lend Me Your Ears
Friday, April 25, 2008
Don't know much about history...
I found this on Kester's blog...
I'm no expert on history, but... hang on...
I don't know why, but it really reminded me of this Far Side Cartoon:
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Voting for ANYONE but Boris...
I am now able to vote on 1st May, so I am going to set out my stall now, in the hope that someone, anyone, will listen...
Just please, listen to reason. As whimsical and comic on Have I Got News For You as he may have been... and despite of as good an impression of a scarecrow as I've ever seen... Is he really the kind of person you want in charge? Even if you don't want Ken again, Boris is NOT the only alternative!
I would normally look to vote for the Lib Dems, if I'm honest. But this time, their candidate is awful. Essentially, they're fielding a single-issue candidate in Brian Paddick. All he knows is crime, being an ex-Met Police Commissioner. All I've heard him talk about is crime. Y-A-W-N.
But I'd rather he got in than Boris Johnson without question...
But please, don't vote for Boris... you won't be able to get rid of him after half an hour...
PLEASE DON'T VOTE FOR BORIS JOHNSON!
He is only popular because of novelty value, and is simply "doing a Cameron" and announcing populist ideas that either wouldn't work or would make things worse in London. As well as opposing environment-improving measures already in place and sharing George W. Bush's view on the Kyoto Protocol (which is selfish, ignorant and criminal, in my opinion - that's Boris, not the Kyoto Protocol...).
Just please, listen to reason. As whimsical and comic on Have I Got News For You as he may have been... and despite of as good an impression of a scarecrow as I've ever seen... Is he really the kind of person you want in charge? Even if you don't want Ken again, Boris is NOT the only alternative!
I would normally look to vote for the Lib Dems, if I'm honest. But this time, their candidate is awful. Essentially, they're fielding a single-issue candidate in Brian Paddick. All he knows is crime, being an ex-Met Police Commissioner. All I've heard him talk about is crime. Y-A-W-N.
But I'd rather he got in than Boris Johnson without question...
For me, the choice is between the Green Party and Left List (formerly part of the Respect Coalition)... and right now, the Greens have the best manifesto of the lot. Cuts to bus and tube fares, free insulation for every home that needs it, affordable housing and a higher minimum wage in the public sector.
All that's left after that is the pointless UKIP, the unspeakable BNP, the English Democrats (who?), and the groan-causing Christian Choice party.
The most bizarre statement I've heard so far is from Richard Barnbrook, the BNP candidate. He opposes the London 2012 Olympic Games, and says he would "offer them to Athens" should he win. Well, he won't. And what's more, he clearly doesn't understand how these things all work if he thinks he'd have that choice...
But please, don't vote for Boris... you won't be able to get rid of him after half an hour...
Friday, April 04, 2008
My Secret Life as a Goth Clown...
I have some smart shoes. Well, I think they're smart, and they're rather nice in my opinion. Bought, originally for my brother's wedding, in case you're wondering. I like them. They're comfy and they're fairly smart. I wore them to a job interview today, and they did the job - I suppose I might well have looked fairly smart.
I had an interview for a job at another government department, and it went OK - although I am the worst judge possible on things like this and I'm rarely right if I guess the outcome.
I really enjoyed it, actually, which worries the hell out of me. Its not right, is it? Interviews are ordeals, aren't they? I've never enjoyed an interview before, so I have no idea if its a good thing or not! The interview panel were all very nice and friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying... and were just lovely about it all. I guess I'm just glad that they didn't ask me to define "diversity", like I was asked in my last one... My answer to that was so awful that it jeopardised my chances. Wasn't ignorant or rude or racist or anything - just dumb because I hadn't even though about that!
There was just one thing that bugged me. My shoes.
Lovely and comfy they may be, but they are an inch or two longer than my feet, and makes me look a bit like either a Goth Clown or someone who's just bought some shoes from a charity shop and these were the best fit they had..
Still, fingers crossed. I'll let you know what the job is and where it is when I find out the result.
I had an interview for a job at another government department, and it went OK - although I am the worst judge possible on things like this and I'm rarely right if I guess the outcome.
I really enjoyed it, actually, which worries the hell out of me. Its not right, is it? Interviews are ordeals, aren't they? I've never enjoyed an interview before, so I have no idea if its a good thing or not! The interview panel were all very nice and friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying... and were just lovely about it all. I guess I'm just glad that they didn't ask me to define "diversity", like I was asked in my last one... My answer to that was so awful that it jeopardised my chances. Wasn't ignorant or rude or racist or anything - just dumb because I hadn't even though about that!
There was just one thing that bugged me. My shoes.
Lovely and comfy they may be, but they are an inch or two longer than my feet, and makes me look a bit like either a Goth Clown or someone who's just bought some shoes from a charity shop and these were the best fit they had..
Still, fingers crossed. I'll let you know what the job is and where it is when I find out the result.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Springer Case Dismissed by Lords
I am very pleased to hear this...
It should finally put an end to a ridiculous set of events surrounding Jerry Springer: The Opera.
It is just such a shame that Christian Voice have to be so flippin' patronising about it.
This is from the article linked above:
"Christian Voice called the decision an "ignoble move".
"It brings down the judgement of God on us all," said Stephen Green, national director of the evangelical lobby group.
"I love my neighbour and I do not want that to happen."
You love your neighbour enough not to credit them with enough intelligence to work out whether they find the show offensive for themselves? You love them so much that you're telling them that they should find it offensive, and if they don't then the warming coals of Beelzebub's fireplace will greet them in the afterlife?
You love them so much that you thought you'd drag this pathetic, holier-than-thou, anachronistic complaint out for over three years?
This is a controversial show, there's no doubt about it. When it was shown on BBC Two, it prompted 63,000 complaints from viewers. But this was mostly people complaining that it contained over 200 swearwords, not Christians complaining about the content.
Christian Voice complained that the show contained images that "vilify God and the Bible". Of course it does. It's a satirical show that deals with modern life as seen on the Jerry Springer show. You think they're all God-fearing, good-intentioned tea-totalers? Any joke that deals with religion would meet that statement. It doesn't mean that every joke is another nail in the coffin of humanity's future. Maybe it means that God can take a joke because he knows that its not everyone's opinion. And, well, it's just a joke.
If its that serious, why would He need you to take up the fight? I'm sure he could retaliate if He wanted to. Get down off your high horses and let someone else have a rant. You don't represent the whole of Christianity. And you certainly don't represent my "Christian voice". So pipe down.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Obama/Cameron, Cameron/Obama?
This is an interesting view of the debates in the US:
http://blogs.ft.com/rachmanblog/
And in particular, this paragraph catches me - and says what has been troubling me about what I've seen and heard - of both Barak Obama and David Cameron...:
I'm afraid that its the same with both of them for me - I just am not moved by anything they do. Cameron in particular makes a grand entrance look like sneaking in via the back door under cover of darkness, and last week's Northern Rock debates simply seem to have proved that the Tories are just as adept as ever at rescuing defeat from the jaws of victory. George Osborn, the great Tory hope, seemed to think he was on to a dead cert, and then watched all the criticisms they threw at Darling and Brown just fade away making them look foolish. Don't get me wrong, Labour certainly didn't come out smelling of roses, and didn’t deserve to either - only the Lib Dems managed that - thanks to Vince Cable showing the bigger boys how they should have dealt with the situation.
But Obama seems to be the living embodiment of the phrase "all mouth, no trouser" - spouting meaningless phrases that somehow catch the imagination and mood of the baying fans that have fallen under his spell. If anyone doubts this, please explain to me what the phrases "the audacity of hope" and "we are the change we've been waiting for" actually either mean or do for the mood of the US... As Mr Rachman points out in the article linked above, it would only genuinely be audacious to run for president for reasons of despair... And the second one, urgh, I don't know.
As for David Cameron, I appreciate that making fun of the government at every step, and shoving fingers into every hole in policy at the first opportunity seems to be working at the moment. But you may have many, many more months to wait for an election, and we've seen before that this behaviour wears thin very easily with the public - and support follows rapidly.
I don't actually want Mr Cameron to win an election - I'd far rather see Titus Bramble in the next England football squad - but if he's serious about being a challenge to Labour, he needs to realise pretty quickly that being able to walk and talk without notes, and being able to come up with a few priceless playground insults will not be the deciding factor in an election.
And if last week was anything to go by, maybe they ought to check that the gift horse standing in front of them doesn't have a "Made In Troy" stamp somewhere on it…
http://blogs.ft.com/rachmanblog/
And in particular, this paragraph catches me - and says what has been troubling me about what I've seen and heard - of both Barak Obama and David Cameron...:
"All this leaves me baffled. I have watched Mr Obama speak live; I have watched him speak on television; I have even watched his speeches set to music on a video made by celebrity supporters… But I find myself strangely unmoved – and this is disconcerting. It feels like admitting to falling asleep during Winston Churchill’s “fight them on the beaches” speech."
I'm afraid that its the same with both of them for me - I just am not moved by anything they do. Cameron in particular makes a grand entrance look like sneaking in via the back door under cover of darkness, and last week's Northern Rock debates simply seem to have proved that the Tories are just as adept as ever at rescuing defeat from the jaws of victory. George Osborn, the great Tory hope, seemed to think he was on to a dead cert, and then watched all the criticisms they threw at Darling and Brown just fade away making them look foolish. Don't get me wrong, Labour certainly didn't come out smelling of roses, and didn’t deserve to either - only the Lib Dems managed that - thanks to Vince Cable showing the bigger boys how they should have dealt with the situation.
But Obama seems to be the living embodiment of the phrase "all mouth, no trouser" - spouting meaningless phrases that somehow catch the imagination and mood of the baying fans that have fallen under his spell. If anyone doubts this, please explain to me what the phrases "the audacity of hope" and "we are the change we've been waiting for" actually either mean or do for the mood of the US... As Mr Rachman points out in the article linked above, it would only genuinely be audacious to run for president for reasons of despair... And the second one, urgh, I don't know.
As for David Cameron, I appreciate that making fun of the government at every step, and shoving fingers into every hole in policy at the first opportunity seems to be working at the moment. But you may have many, many more months to wait for an election, and we've seen before that this behaviour wears thin very easily with the public - and support follows rapidly.
I don't actually want Mr Cameron to win an election - I'd far rather see Titus Bramble in the next England football squad - but if he's serious about being a challenge to Labour, he needs to realise pretty quickly that being able to walk and talk without notes, and being able to come up with a few priceless playground insults will not be the deciding factor in an election.
And if last week was anything to go by, maybe they ought to check that the gift horse standing in front of them doesn't have a "Made In Troy" stamp somewhere on it…
Thursday, February 21, 2008
God bless you, Mr President
During 1999 and the first half of 2000, I reckon I spent, on average, about 15-20 hours a week in a cinema, usually in the company of Jon Monkhouse. We'd roll up to the cinema at roughly 11 or 12 (an achievement for a pair of students...) clutching our unlimited passes and then spend the rest of the day watching films, routinely seeing three or four a day. And we saw some brilliant films in that time. We also saw some stunningly awful films (Down To You – I can picture Jon’s expression just at the mention of the title - and Frequency to name just two). When Nikki and I started working in London (in 2004), we took out unlimited passes again. This time, it was just for 1 or 2 films a week, but we picked our films, and saw some really good ones, with the occasional disappointment. Obviously, since Luke’s birth, our movie-going habits have been somewhat… restricted. I have no complaints – as I would far rather see Luke’s little face every day than any film, and I have yet to hear of a film to change my mind (no, not even Batman Begins changed my mind…), so I happily recline in my ignorance.
I am, along with any other potential signs of geekdom, completely unable to commit to being a film fan. And yet, that is what I am. But I don’t much care at the moment. I love films, I really do. But I have finally (and very, very belatedly) discovered The West Wing
Can TV get any better than this show? I’ve never seen something that had me hooked within minutes, caring about the characters enough to want to know more by the end of episode 1 and when I saw the season climax I was beside myself!
I suppose it does help that I have an interest in US politics, and that I like this kind of drama – something that is simultaneously unafraid to address proper, heavyweight issues (the first episode has a potential scandal with a White House staffer and a call girl, and within a few episodes a drug scandal breaks) use humour, and make sure we all understand that these are normal, everyday people going through something extreme every day.
It probably also helps that I’d love to do the job. I’d love to be one of the actors, obviously, but there’s a part of me that aspires to be that essential to the running of the country, and be under that kind of pressure. But its not my priority to get there – there are far, far more important than work, or a career (just as well, the way mine has stalled).
But as far as I am aware, The West Wing isn’t repeated on terrestrial TV… Channel 4, who originally broadcast the series, constantly and tediously repeat Friends and ER (and magnificently, Frasier) during the day, so why not this? The only way I have seen what I’ve seen is through begging and borrowing other people’s copies – downloading, in case you’re wondering, takes far far far too long on my humble little creaky laptop (donations gratefully received). I’d love it if Channel 4 starts repeating it other than on a digital channel that not everyone can receive… And if they’d start showing the Daily Show on the regular channel – shunting it to More4 is a waste and an insult – its better than anything we have on tv at the moment over here in terms of satire.
I am, along with any other potential signs of geekdom, completely unable to commit to being a film fan. And yet, that is what I am. But I don’t much care at the moment. I love films, I really do. But I have finally (and very, very belatedly) discovered The West Wing
Can TV get any better than this show? I’ve never seen something that had me hooked within minutes, caring about the characters enough to want to know more by the end of episode 1 and when I saw the season climax I was beside myself!
I suppose it does help that I have an interest in US politics, and that I like this kind of drama – something that is simultaneously unafraid to address proper, heavyweight issues (the first episode has a potential scandal with a White House staffer and a call girl, and within a few episodes a drug scandal breaks) use humour, and make sure we all understand that these are normal, everyday people going through something extreme every day.
It probably also helps that I’d love to do the job. I’d love to be one of the actors, obviously, but there’s a part of me that aspires to be that essential to the running of the country, and be under that kind of pressure. But its not my priority to get there – there are far, far more important than work, or a career (just as well, the way mine has stalled).
But as far as I am aware, The West Wing isn’t repeated on terrestrial TV… Channel 4, who originally broadcast the series, constantly and tediously repeat Friends and ER (and magnificently, Frasier) during the day, so why not this? The only way I have seen what I’ve seen is through begging and borrowing other people’s copies – downloading, in case you’re wondering, takes far far far too long on my humble little creaky laptop (donations gratefully received). I’d love it if Channel 4 starts repeating it other than on a digital channel that not everyone can receive… And if they’d start showing the Daily Show on the regular channel – shunting it to More4 is a waste and an insult – its better than anything we have on tv at the moment over here in terms of satire.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Opening A Vein
There was a time, years ago now, when I wanted - more than anything - to be an actor. I loved, and I still do love, the feeling of being on stage, of showing all those people gathered in front of you that you could be someone else, that you could make them laugh, appall them, shock, frighten, warm, comfort, sadden them, with just an action or a phrase.
There's a very good saying that Phil Hammond used on last Friday's News Quiz on BBC Radio 4: "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put tomatoes in a fruit salad."
I don't know whether I was ever any good as an actor - I was certainly told that I was quite a few times, but confidence is a huge part of doing it. My confidence was always battered by a memory that is fast-attaining legendary status for its faliures. After all, it's all very well being able to recite Stanislavski's acting system, but being able to do it is far more valuable than knowing it.
But there was a moment - one of those moments that you know will affect how the rest of your life will go. It happened at school. I was in the sixth form (year 13 for those of you who are too young to remember proper school years...), and I was rehearsing for my A-Level drama practical exam. I'd chosen one of my favourite speeches from Shakespeare for my monologue piece - its in Much Ado About Nothing (my favourite Shakespeare...), when Benedick first believes that Beatrice loves him - in the Branagh film, it's the bit when he's wandering around the garden with a deckchair...
I knew the speech inside and out, I'd researched into it, I'd concentrated and worked on every inflection of every syllable, and worked out timings. I'd even begun blocking the scene. Then my teacher asked me what I was doing again. I told her. She stared at me as if I'd just accused her of eating students during detentions (she was, after all, big enough for that to be believable).
Her words have stayed with me ever since:
"You'll have to change it. You can't do Benedick - you don't look like a romantic hero."
Well, to me, that's the point of acting. If I was any good at all, it wouldn't matter one little bloody jot if I didn't look like a romantic-sodding-hero. If I didn't look like one, I could act like one and speak like one. I could BE one. But instead, I had to do the only soliloquy anyone ever remembers from Richard III. And I hated it. I like the play, and I thoroughly recommend the film version with Ian McKellen as Richard III, but I hated doing it. If there's one thing I was probably less suited to be than a romantic hero, I'd have guessed at murderous hunchback king... Still, I suppose I was lucky she didn't get me to be Othello...
It was that moment, when she said that preposterous, insulting sentence, that I decided that it wasn't for me. I was going to follow something I'd been doing for just a few months - writing. I wanted, instead of being on the stage speaking someone else's words - I wanted to be the person who'd put those words in the actor's mouths.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
All Mysteries Solved...
Huge kudos must go to the artist, Mike. Have a look at his work: http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/
Go on, you know you want to!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
